The Boy Who Stole My First Kiss
by Blondiebonks
Summary: Millicent was a mundane born into a world that wasn't her own. Raised within the Morgenstern manner she was anything but normal, and the darkest secret of Valentine. But the Uprising changed everything. Forced into hiding and finally out of Idris how will Millicent cope when Jonathan returns for her. Will her illness threaten everything, as she tries to find the human in Jonathan.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

I clutched tightly onto the leather case and Singer holder as I stepped down the small set of steps which led from the dark carriage, a real rarity in this part of Idris . Coming back to the cottage after nearly half a years absence was especially difficult.

Valentine had sent me away after Jonathan saved me. He said I needed time to grieve after my Mother's death. But my time in solace had been emotionally and physically draining. The Manor felt to suck the life out of me and only brought painful reminders of the now absent other Jonathan whose existence had ceased to exist following my last visit.

I never questioned where he had gone, but the Manor was desolate now, empty from any signs he had even existed.

I felt returning to the Valley that I was no longer a child now, and instead I had formed into a woman during my absence from the cottage.

Valentine a few strides in front of me, was looking over to me expectantly. I tensed under his scrutiny feeling suddenly cautious of my return. I was Motherless, pennyless and completely under his will.

The wind was sharp and full of Autumn as it struck the dip of the valley were the small cottage sat. It was as beautiful as I remembered.

Tears stung my eyes at the memory of my Mother greeting me after my trips and I blinked them away unable to think of her in this moment of happiness.

"Millie, I trust your journey was pleasant?" Valentine asked carefully as I set the luggage down the hem of my skirts brushing in the dirt.

I nodded, my eyes homing in on the approaching figure, the captivating blonde sheen of hair which was tussled, unkept.

My mouth felt dry as Jonathan drew close enough to share a dark stare with, which had my eyes fixing on my leather shoes unable to meet his challenge.

Valentine jerked his head back catching the back of Jonathan's disappearing figure with his sharp eyes, which then fell back onto my flushed face.

"He has missed you, I think" Valentine decided carefully. "Or as close to it as he can get" he added with a smirk.

"Jonathan just seems angry" I corrected straightening up and looking after him, he was taller again. His growth spurts were getting ridiculous.

Valentine waved his hand dismissively as Jonathan stalked towards the woodland.

"You should unpack. There is much to discuss Millicent" he said more sternly this time and gesturing towards my cases.

I looked from Valentine to Jonathan.

I drew the red shawl closer around my neck and I paced forwards abandoning Valentine and my possessions as I tried to close the distance Jonathan had started to put between us.

Valentine's shouts of protests still stung my ears as I followed him on the rocky terrain which would lead us into deep woodland. No one followed Jonathan, especially not when he was like this.

That is no one but me.

Jonathan was my only real companion for miles and I'd often be left charged in his care for periods. Despite my Mother's and Valentine's wishes of otherwise I had grown fond of Jonathan.

The terrain underfoot was rapidly changing and I panted out of breath as the dust bellow my feet turned to rocky stones as we climbed out of the Valley.

I stumbled slightly catching myself before I could fall and righting my footing. The shoes were coated with brown dust and I unbuckled them, finding myself to scrambled better without the hinderance.

I hummed untunefully as I kept him in my sights stumbling in my stockings on the rocky terrain. I clutched at the pair of black leather heels in my right hand, my left pinning down my skirts as the wind threatened to mar my dignity.

Jonathan had a fierce temper, one which Valentine was cautious would taint my innocence.

I felt the stones cutting through my stockings and frowned at the thought of trying to repair them. Clothing was a luxury in this small place, and Valentine only ever really sought to show the expense when I was sent to the Manor. Which was the precise reason why I was chasing after Jonathan.

Jonathan was always riled by my visits to the Manor, but my most recent seemed to have been the most disruptive.

He saw it as a betrayal whenever I was sent there.

His hair was growing long past his ears and the platinum sheen seemed more prominent. My fingers twitched desperate to comb through them and I cringed at my teenage hormones. Jonathan's legs were long and powerful and he took the terrain easily his clothes light and aiding him. In comparison I was unprepared, I lacked the power in my shorter body and the dress and all it's layers hitched and caught whenever I moved quickly.

Jonathan could easily have left me in his wake but I noticed the occasional pause as he allowed me enough time to catch up. He wanted this.

My chest heaved and I felt the sudden urge to loosen the corset certain I might pass out any minute if I didn't.

But still Jonathan climbed, nearly at the Forest edge now.

I looked up trying to determine where he was tracking to when I lost my footing. A stone loosened under foot and I stumbled falling and scrapping along the jagged path until a cold hand clasped around my wrist.

My mind was burning and I gasped uncertainly as I heard the rocks tripping back down the valley. It was a steep descent.

Blood trickled down my left arm from the burning graze and I dwelled for a moment on the overwhelming feelings that were beginning to build. The cusp of a panic attack ready to reap chaos.

I looked up to Jonathan as he sat clinging to me his body unwavering as his eyes flickered with wildness.

"Enough" I hissed. "Do you hear me, that is enough" I repeated as my breathing hitched.

A small grin stretched across his face and I allowed him to pull me up into his lap. He was broader now, stronger with more well defined muscles. His body was cold and I involuntary shivered against him, despite the comfort he brought to me. As if sensing this Jonathan planted his hands on my hips, settling against the velvet he pushed me upright.

"Where are you going Jonathan, I've just gotten back and already your running away. I just want to see you" I gushed offering him my hand but he ignored it, pushing himself up and turning away from me.

"Jonathan look at me" I pleaded reaching towards him with my cut palm as he began to walk into the woodland.

I stretched out my bruised limbs urgent to catch up with him.

"Jonathan. Dammit Jonathan you will stop and talk to me!" I cried which halted him, his body suddenly still.

"My dear Millicent is that a temper I hear? Perhaps you really are a woman now" he mocked turn with a devilish grin. His eyes climbed down my body, seeming to take in every curve, every knew aspect as he relearned my shape.

I'd not inherited my Mother's natural slimness, instead I was all curves and lines which the velvet dress fell across emphasising just how much of a woman I now was.

"No. Sorry, I'm just tiered" I apologised brushing back the hair which had fallen into my face from it's clips.

"I don't have time for this idle talk Millicent" he scoffed turning away from me and climbing further into the woodland.

"Jonathan wait. I'm sorry, I am so sorry!" I cried after him but he continued to walk away from me. "I didn't want to leave Jonathan. I was alone. I was so, so lonely. You cant even comprehended how much I've been looking forward to seeing you" I gushed to my only friend, catching up with him as he slowed enough.

Jonathan smirked further at my apology, finding something of it an amusement.

"I've missed you Jonathan, can you at least sit and talk with me, please" I begged catching at his shirt sleeve I dropped it as I looked at the cuff. "I feel betrayed. You've a new dresser" I accused looking over the crisp white cotton.

My Mother had been a terrible seamstress, but Valentine was insistent one of the staff new of the art. So I educated myself, hours a day I would spend homing in my skill until I perfected the talent now in my teens and proudly dressed us all.

Jonathan for a moment looked sheepish before recovering himself.

"You're not the only one who has grown, Millicent" he teased his eyes wide.

"Well they've measured you wrong" I scoffed, remembering how my pieces would fit like a second skin.

"You don't like it?" He asked looking down and I shook my head.

He smiled for a second before grabbing either side of the shirt and ripping it open. I gasped as he shrugged it of dropping it to the floor.

"Problem solved" he laughed darkly with a smirk and I looked at the disregarded fabric in distaste.

"What a waste of good Egyptian cotton" I fumed looking at his shirt which sat on the blanket of leaves.

Jonathan's thick laugh filled the air as he mocked me.

"This isn't funny Jonathan. You're going to freeze!" I protested in annoyance.

"Well if it gets to that point we can rip each others clothes of and snuggle for warmth" he teased smirking at the crimson blush it produced.

I ducked down picking up the torn fabric between my numb fingers which were turning blue from the cold.

"Why we're you running away Jonathan?" I asked my voice firmer than I had planned and it made him smirk further.

"I wanted to talk to you" he shrugged stepping towards me and tugging the fabric from my hands letting it flutter to the ground. "Alone" he added as an after thought.

"So you dragged me halfway up the Valley!"I accused and he shook his head in protest.

"You followed me!" He corrected his voice rising to meet my own.

"I was tricked" I defended.

"You never came to visit me" I added into the lapsed silence toeing the ground.

"Excuse me?" Jonathan spat his voice rough.

"You never came to see me Jonathan. I wrote you letters. I asked Valentine to get you to come to see me but you never did" I complained feeling the hurt the statement drew out.

"Bullshit" Jonathan snarled jerking forwards to force his hands into my chest.

I sobbed as I fell back hoping for a trunk to break my fall, but instead I hit the ground my body crunching the bed of leafs under me as my dress puffed out. I raised a weak hand to my head checking for any sign of blood but it was forced above my head with my other arm by Jonathan.

His body pressed me into the ground as he straddled me, digging his fingers into my wrists as he held me in place.

"Bull-fucking-shit" he hissed leaning forwards to glare into my eyes with his own much darker ones. I could easily be swallowed my the black obis of them.

"Get of me Jonathan" I sobbed wriggling underneath him. "Please Jonathan your hurting me" I whined and he released my arms his fingers trailing down my arms lightly.

"You chose to leave Millicent. On the Angel I swear if you lie to me again …" he began as I rubbed my wrists.

"I am not lying Jonathan!" I corrected. "Valentine sent me away to grieve. He sent me away after what you did the last time Jonathan. He sent me away to punish you" I whispered softly looking up at the older boy in wonder.

"Your lying" he accused again his eyes growing darker with the clouds of anger.

"I am not lying Jonathan Morgenstern. Don't you dare speak such words!" I screamed now my eyes stinging with hot tears. "I would never leave you, I could never leave you" I cried.

Jonathan's eyes widened and for the first time in my life, he was truly lost for words.

Then he kissed me.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello, thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, and I would love to hear any thouths you may have. I'm uncertain if this is a theme anyone in interested in, but I always had a soft spot for Jonathan/Sebastian!**

 **I have two other Fanficitions, both of which are Twilight. The first is called Doing it the Blonde Way which is complete, and the second is Hair Pin Curve which is in progress.**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER ONE

"Millicent!" An acid like voice cried, the heavy pounding of feet followed as he made his way down to the kitchen from up above.

I hummed away as I continued to stir the pot of thickening risotto, ignoring Jonathan's unpleasant tone and his distasteful choice of name.

No one used _Millicent_. It was painfully outdated and made my grip on the wooden spoon tighten.

"Millicent!" He seethed his voice getting closer as his feet reached the bottom of the staircase.

Jonathan had never been shy of his outbursts, and his temper was something which had faded into a normality of life. Jonathan was angry with the world.

I listened intently to the radio presenter as he accounted the weeks weather forecast trying to hear over Jonathan's repeated beckoning.

Tense fingers gripped my shoulder and a firm tug spun me around causing risotto to flick from the pan. I hissed in discomfort as the rice and boiling water fell onto my arm and splattered over Jonathan's crisp shirt.

My skin itched as I stood torn between Jonathan and myself for a millisecond.

I chose Jonathan.

My fingers darted forwards hooking at the bottom of the freshly ironed shirt, it's white cotton stained beyond repair with the boiling liquid.

"Off!" I cried tugging upwards trying to make the intolerable man co-operate before the fabric began to stick to his skin.

My own felt unbearably tight, as if it was being slowly stretched out.

"Jonathan, you have to take this off" I cried yanking again on the material which wasn't moving anywhere as the seconds flew by.

"Millicent, Millicent, Millicent" he scolded lightly prising my tight fists from the fabric and drawing his thin fingers up my hand to loop around my wrist.

"You forget yourself, Mundane" he laughed bitterly looking down at my singed flesh.

I moved my eyes to meet with Jonathan's gaze. His eyes were unusually soft, the darkness in them drawing the warmth from around the room.

"I could always draw a rune on you … See how that works out" he teased further his brows pulling together.

"Keep that away from me!" I cried jerking back from his hold so the cooker dials collided into my back with a stinging pressure.

"You can be so boring" he laughed as he set the stele on the counter beside me and inhaled sharply.

He reached for me again and I nearly scrambled onto the cooker trying to put more distance between are bodies.

Jonathan's laugh was cold and cutting as he mocked me. "I'm not going to hurt you Millicent, well not that much" he said hooking his fingers on my arm and yanking me towards him so are bodies slammed together causing a uncomfortable friction.

"I …" My protest was weak, unconsidered and he laughed at me again as I stood dazed.

Jonathan lowered his head causing the strands of white-blonde to fall forwards over his eyes, the cut was loose and tickled the back of his neck where it was neatly trimmed.

"Don't. Touch. Me" I seethed remembering when we were children, and exactly what had happened to both of us as a result.

He chuckled again his voice raspy.

I remained fixed in place despite my protest glued to the spot as his lips brushed against the pulsing wound. My body tingled with a mixture of pent-up emotions which had slipped through as his lips parted and his tongue swirled gently over the slight burn.

Jonathan's mouth was pleasantly cool, in comparison to the warm skin and he pursed his lips sucking firmly on the wound. I let out a sharp cry and tried to pull my arm free, but his free hand steadied itself on the top of my thigh his cool fingers digging into the flesh.

My eyes widened at the feel of his fingers through the thin material.

"Jonathan …" I croaked, my eyes stinging with tears.

He withdrew his lips but remained hovering over my arm. Then he moved his head down towards the inside of my wrist, planting one final kiss before drawing back to his full height. I leant back against the cooker the only thing keeping me upright as my head swirled with a drunken euphoria.

"I'd suggest you put a cold compress on that Millicent, you wouldn't want it to blister" he smirked stepping back from me his eyes going black again filled with the anger that I had initially been greeted with.

"I'll be expecting a new dress shirt. We have dinner guests tonight. You can make yourself scarce" he shot, making quick work at unbuttoning the stained white shirt which parted to reveal his chest.

"I … Jonathan" I began hating the way my mind seemed to fill with clouds in his presence. The shirt had parted to reveal his taught stomach muscles and the dark curving marks which traced their way over his chest. "It's nine o'clock at night Jonathan, I leave the house at six in the morning. I don't want to go out, I want to go to bed!" I hissed with annoyance.

I averted my scornful stare as he began to shrug of the shirt and dropped it to the floor.

"Your insufferable!" He seethed. "We will eat for ten, you can rescue the risotto, and go and get yourself changed. Wear that dress you ordered in this week, the red one ..." He decided turning on his heel and dismissing the conversation and any protest I may have had.

My eyes flicked up to his tall frame leaving the kitchen, the deep scars of his back seeming alight against the crisp lighting and my thoughts softened.

But I still hated when Jonathan came home.

" _Wear that dress_ " I scoffed in disgust mimicking his words. Jonathan had clearly been snooping again.

I was under the employment of Valentine, just like my Mother had once been and it was a responsibility not to be taken lightly. I kept the house for Valentine and had done since my parents were murdered.

My time was spent divided between my own Mundane world and working for Shadowhunters a world Valentine strove to shelter me against. Something Jonathan was ever willing to challenge.

I looked down at the risotto, it had singed to the pan and the smell of it's burning was beginning to take over the room. I puffed hot air blowing my fringe up in the air as I pulled it from the heat source and moved to scrape it in the bin.

My fingers absently cranked up the radio as I touched the cupboard door with my fingers sliding the bin back into its concealed compartment.

Valentine was use to a small army of servants. The luxury was soon lost though, and I was the only one who remained. In charge of all tasks whenever he chose to make a visit to the house. Something which had picked up in regularity. Especially following my first encounter with Jonathan in nearly seven years.

I placed the wooden spoon and stained pan into the dishwasher before removing a fresh set from the sleek glossed cabinets and began work on re-measuring ingredients and slinging them into the pan.

Stirring the mixture I left it on a low heat as I moved from the kitchen to check over the dinning room. Jonathan had fortunately left the table from his rage but one of the chairs had been overturned and I picked it upright brushing it down.

Next I hurried towards the staircase taking the steps two at a time as I climbed forwards my bare feet pressing into the plush carpet. As with everything in this house it was a wasted luxury.

I started towards the hallway closet where I left the freshly dry cleaned clothes ready to be placed back into the wardrobes when the men were out or asleep.

"Millie" A voice pureed and I turned towards the towering figured of Valentine stood up the corridor. His eyes scanned my flustered face and moved to my burnt arm.

"Explain" he snapped his eyes wide as he strode forwards and I clutched at the plastic sheeting covering Jonathan's freshly laundered shirt.

"I haven't got time for an explanation" I quipped trying to step past the man but he shadowed my every movement. "Please, Jonathan needs a new shirt, I need to finish cooking the dinner, I had to throw the first lot away, and then I need to go and have a shower and dress for this ridiculous dinner! But all I want to do is go and get some burn cream and then crawl into bed because I've had the most awful day at work and, and …" I blubbered pouring my heart out in the hallway as the tears stung my eyes.

"Jonathan" he echoed my words a wicked glint in his eyes and I stared down at my feet.

"He didn't burn my arm" I corrected his conclusion but he was already decided on the matter his eyes clouded with his deep thinking.

"I suggest you go and tell Jonathan I've decided your services will not be necessary tonight. Finish the dinner Millie, and then go to the pharmacy" Valentine commanded, his word final in the household.

I nodded my limbs feeling tense as I cradled the shirt.

"I'll be leaving during the night, Jonathan will stay. Look after yourself, please" He stressed the final words and bent down to brush a kiss over my forehead.

I remained in place as Valentine left trying to decide my next move. Jonathan or dinner? Dinner didn't answer back.

My fingers tore the plastic from the shirt and I strode forwards towards Jonathan's bedroom my stomach flipping over as I did.

My knuckles rasped against the door lightly and I opened it without further response.

My movements were intended to be unnoticed. I could use the house to my will when it was vacant, however whenever Valentine returned I played loyal host, just as my Mother had taught me.

My eyes scanned the vacant bedroom and I strode towards the rumpled bedspread. I straightened the sheet and pulled the duvet tight before setting the shirt down on the spread. I moved towards the wardrobe doorway stepping inside Jonathan's designer closet and flicking through the rails for a trouser and tie set to complement the fresh shirt.

I picked out a tie in a deep red, Crimson like the blood which I'd scrubbed on the floor only the evening before. Valentine had woken me and muttered something about it. I never asked questions. I'd learnt that over the years.

The break in concentration had left me stroking the tie in a soothing motion and I jolted myself back to action, realizing the risotto would likely be boiling over by now. I turned back only halfway through the extensive wardrobe room my feet snagging on discarded clothes.

My back creaked slightly as I bent down to grab at the material which had gathered beneath the rails and piled it into my arms.

The lights flickered above me and I gave a careful glance around to ensure Jonathan hadn't snuck up behind me before moving to depart from the wardrobe. My feet slapped against the wooden slats of the wardrobe and I was relieved to have the sound muffled as soon as I stepped back onto the carpet.

Pants, socks, shoes. I repeated the three items determined not to forget them.

I set out the tie and trousers on the bed smoothing them out and riding them of the hangers. I launched the new laundry towards the door and headed back towards the wardrobe to replace the hangers in the necessary compartment.

"Millie!" I could hear my voice being screamed from the floor bellow and I guessed Valentine was being forced to salvage the risotto before a fire broke out on the lower floor. I turned my head towards the door torn between dumping the hangers and running.

The breath which I had intended to sound a quick reply to Valentine was knocked out of me and I staggered backwards from the blunt force which had struck my chest. My legs knotted and I tripped, falling back towards the carpet.

I screamed as Jonathan snagged at my wrist suspending me mid-air, leaving it to the last moment to decide to break my fall.

"Millicent, I do believe you've just burnt dinner … Again" he snapped rudely jerking me up so I collided again with his firm chest.

I tensed as the water drop-lets brushed onto my chest and the towel caused friction against my yoga pants.

"You needed a new shirt" I defended breathlessly trying to pull my wrist free but he remained holding it. "I'll pick you something up from a take-out. I have to go to the pharmacy anyway" I added as a afterthought to try and appease him.

"That burn still hurting?" he laughed trying to catch my stare but I remained focused on the patterns carved into his skin and the near invisible lines which danced around his torso.

"People usually say that sentence with some concern, Jonathan" I scolded.

I looked up and his face was perplexed, pulled into confusion as he stared down at me.

"I have concern for you, Millicent" he corrected his voice soft and I felt him pressing himself more intently into my body. His chest pressing up against my breasts and I cursed myself for not wearing a bra.

"I won't be dinning with you. Your Father does not wish me to be present" I announced breaking the lingering silence between us and Jonathan face immediately contorted back into it's darkness.

I watched him in surprise at his irrational reaction to my refusal.

Jonathan shoved me backwards and I caught the back of my head; in the same moment he'd snatched up a weapon from the bedside table. As my head smacked against one of the bed posts the knife lodged itself into the door, a deep snarl ripping from his throat.

I groaned as I felt the blood sticky and thick trailing down my neck and my hands darted to straighten the wig that sat upon my head but Jonathan didn't miss it his eyes widening with curiosity.

"I hope you haven't dented the bedpost with that thick skull of yours" he snarled watching me as I moved to my feet holding onto the post to steady myself.

I scanned him with my eyes for a moment daring to trace the bare skin of his chest, and the cotton towel which hung dangerously low on his hips.

"Would you like something from the Grill or from the new place that does the French cuisine?" I asked brushing away the tears that had escaped with the back of my hand.

His lip curled in disgust and I anticipated his next words. "By the Angel do I look like I give a dam? Get. Out" he seethed gesturing dramatically towards the door.

I held my head high as I walked slowly from his room biting down on my lip to force the urge to burst into tears back. I suppressed it all the way downstairs, acknowledging the risotto sat on the oven top signed and producing a rancid smell. Shoving it into the bin – pan and all – I stopped for my purse and headed out down the back stairs which only I used out onto the busy street full of evening dusk.

Only then did I allow the tears to fall as I lost myself in the crowded street.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Exciting to see how many views I've started to get and the feedback I've already had love having reviews! We are now in present day, and we have jumped forward in time and location from the preface. Millicent is living in Valentine's traveling house which is her permanent residence. The story line will be tying in with the time frame of the book series so just wait at see :)**

 **Real Life Trash thank you so much for leaving me a review! It was lovely to have such nice feedback and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **AmanoJajuFoma thank you for a lovely review. It was fab to see how excited you are about the story, and that you like the idea of it! Hope you enjoyed the update?**

 **To my Guest reviewer thanks for leaving me your lovely words. The romance will continue to build between them as will the tension! Hope you like this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER TWO

I clutched at the bag heavy with the take-away order. I'd moved quickly through the streets darting to are usual takeout, placing my order and heading to the pharmacy to collect some burn cream.

I chatted with the receptionist, a woman I dealt with on an almost weekly basis as my condition continued to fluctuate and new drugs surfaced onto the market. It was my darkest secret and something I strove to keep from Valentine and Jonathan.

Re-entering the house wasn't easy, it involved taking multiple staircase until I reached the necessary doorway. Stuck without any of the Shadowhunters powers I was rendered quiet useless for any such theatrics like seeing casting runes to enter into the charmed building.

Panting, I brushed my hands across the oversized shirt which had been a cast off of Jonathan's and something I wore simply for the pleasure of narking him. Returning to the mundane world allowed for a very different sense of dress.

The kitchen remained just as I had left it and I set the hot bag onto the work surface allowing it to stand while I cleaned up the mess I'd caused. I scrubbed with the spray until the work tops were buffed sufficiently and then moved to collect the plates.

I dished out a healthy helping for Jonathan and Valentine onto the bone-china plating and two extra positions for any potential guests. Carrying the plates to the table, all that was left was to shove the packaging into the bin before I could begin my own meal.

Eating was complex.

I pulled open my designated cupboard and rummaged around until I found the rice crackers and peanut butter. I slipped a knife from the draw and cradled them in my arms as I retreated to my bedroom.

"Dinner's served!" I cried on the top of the landing before slamming shut my bedroom door.

I sighed in relief as I slumped against the door, tugging loose the clips that held in place the wig and pulling off the cap I set them beside me relieved of the itching they inflicted.

My hair had been falling out since I was fifteen, I was eighteen now and had learnt well just how to conceal this along with my the other symptoms of my illness.

The night rolled on and I tried to ignore the voice downstairs. I buttered two crackers and ate them in silence as I scrolled through the news pages on my laptop. It took me another hour to wash the blood from the wig and my scalp before I could at last pull myself under the sheets and be lulled to sleep.

* * *

The most unnerving thing about Jonathan was his following of me. He'd been trained for stealth and it had taken me years to be able to recognize his stalking. But without fail, whenever I would leave the house while he stayed here, he would follow.

I'd asked Valentine over it once, hysterical having confronted Jonathan who had viciously denied it. Valentine suggested Jonathan was protecting what was his, but I suspected it was more than that.

My morning routine was boringly simple. Wake up, shower, get dressed, pick up some fruit for the train ride and be out of the house no later than half-past six. I travelled across the city each day to get to work.

Today Jonathan wasn't even discreet about his stalking. He was sat fully dressed as I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen looking at me expectantly in a set of Mundane clothes.

"Good Morning" I addressed smiling as I withdrew a frying pan. "Bacon?" I asked as I moved towards the fridge.

"No. Not this morning Millicent. We are having breakfast out. Come on, quickly" he hurried his tone sounding bored and I racked my stare across his platinum bed hair wanting to comb it out.

"But …" I began to protest but he widened his dark eyes cutting my argument off before it had even started.

I snatched my coat off the hook and pulled it on fumbling with shaking fingers with the buttons of the Mac conscious of Jonathan's heavy stare.

"Where are we going, for breakfast?" I probed gently as he strode ahead of me towards the portal doorway.

"Don't worry Millicent, I have taken into account your ridiculous dietary requirements" he snorted grasping my hand as he yanked me through the portal with him.

I tensed hating the sensation until my feet hit the pavement and Jonathan didn't pause for breath as he pulled me forwards with him, looping his fingers in mine.

"I've got you all to myself now Millicent. Father's away. Although I remain under strict caution to play nicely with you. He's scared I might break you" he muttered stroking my hand with his thumb.

"You won't break me Jonathan. I wouldn't let you" I retorted my voice coming out stronger than I had expected it to and he smirked.

"Don't test me Millicent. My Father is very found of you. I hate to upset him" he laughed pulling me towards a small café which blended into the rest of the high street.

"When will you be going?" I asked trying to keep my voice light as I followed Jonathan towards a distant table in the back of the café.

"Why, are you scared I may be sticking around to affect you vacation time. I know you finish for your assigned leave in three days Millicent. I have a trip to make and will be requiring some assistance" he revealed pulling a chair out for me.

"And if I refuse?" I asked sitting and allowing him to push me in and he sped around to sit beside me.

"Pardon?" He retorted picking up the menu and his eyes skimming it, but his body remained tense. What would he do if I refused him, snap me in half?

"I have vacation plans" I muttered scanning the menu quickly feeling the table rock as he leant across to stare at me.

"Cancel them" he commanded and I swallowed.

"I have an appointment that can't be rescheduled" I tried again keeping my voice low, but I could already sense the rest of the dinners eyeing up the strangely attractive man.

"I don't care, Millicent I require your services. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the difficult way. Either option will result in you coming with me" he snapped.

"I need a few days. To prepare things. I can't just disappear people will notice. I need things, items I'll be no use to you Jonathan without certain things, trust me" I protested. "And thanks for the offer but I've lost my appetite" I pushed back from the chair and stormed out of the café my head swirling in burning anger.

My life went through lapses of brief freedom, torn between the life I longed for, the life I pretended to live freely and the expectations of Valentine and Jonathan.

I glanced anxiously down at my watch as I hurried towards the train station desperate to make the first train out, it was the only way to guarantee a seat.

The streets were almost empty at this hour, sparing the rough-sleepers and a handful or early commuters. But Jonathan didn't even attempt to blend in with them as he came to stand brashly beside me at the platform.

"You've clearly forgotten your place in this household Millicent. When I say I am taking you to breakfast it is not a request it is a fact, one I expect to be followed through on" he snapped his arms bare and I wondered whether glamour was concealing his identity.

I remained looking ahead unable to think of a clever reply to annoy him.

"I brought you something. Try not to choke on it" he spat shoving it towards my chest his hands firm enough to make me stumble. Before I could respond he was gone from my sight.

I kicked at the platform tilting my head back in frustration.

I'd upset Jonathan. Something I would live to regret.

* * *

The train jerked into the station, late as usual and I glanced nervously at my watch as I elbowed my way towards the boarding doors. It's delay has meant we were picking up the business commuters in their ill-fitting suits.

If Jonathan was present he didn't make himself known and I did search the carriage desperately trying to pull away at any potential glamour he may be concealing himself with to no end.

Most people had easily found a seat after the initial burst to get inside the carriages but I lingered, standing in the void between carriages waiting for my stop, eager to leave the enclosed space. It reminded me of the dreams which still stung my mind, of untold nightmares.

I popped the lid of the polystyrene container that Jonathan had presented and smiled in surprise at the breakfast before me, with napkin and plastic cutlery to complement.

"Oh Jonathan" I whispered under my breath uncertain of what to make of the monster.

I forked a mushroom and slumped to a sitting position on the floor as I enjoyed my breakfast, my mind reeling.

Jonathan was nearly always unbearable. That was until he did something like this, which left me feeling overwhelmed in confusing emotions.

The day rolled on after that in a flustered stress as I ran from the station to make it in time to work, rolling in as parents hurriedly filled the school car park eager to detach themselves of their children.

Consumed with paperwork, scheduling, cleaning instruments and trying in desperation to aid the children with there piano practice the day was over within a blink of an eye.

Dragging myself home on aching legs and pulsing feet I considered just what I would be returning to.

When I was a child Jonathan would run amuck when his Father went away. Even more so when I was sent to see the other boy. Jonathan truly hated that, my Mother claimed he was unbearable to be around for days after.

The house was a brief walk from the station but the darkness was already beginning to fall and I considered the dinner options for this evening. Something which didn't involve to much attention would be a safe option. I had yet to learn how to divide myself into two people, and spent most of my time torn between avoiding Jonathan's raft and trying to do my real job.

I understood a certain amount of what world was hidden from the ordinary Mundane, and I appreciated Jonathan had told me far more than his Father had intended. That's what made Jonathan special, he was always upfront with me.

However Valentines love for me, involved clouding me in shrouds of protection hoping no Shadowhunter would ever even come to realize my existence.

Despite the grandness of the house I lived in the outside looked like the rest of the tired apartments in the row, stained by car-exhausts and with a wild garden.

But this house was quiet something else entirely.

It was charmed. In Mundane terms it was a magic, flying house. I personally like to consider it my own Tardis but that was perhaps influenced by watching to many re-runs of Doctor Who. Most of my initial childhood had been taken up lurking in the background of the Morgansten Manor and the small cottage in the valley never far from my Mothers side. Until I resurfaced back into the Mundane world to which I truly belonged and had to fall back into place in order to have any hope of survival.

I'd been doing a decent job at it to. Until Valentine brought Jonathan to see me and his infatuation with me resurfaced despite the time spent apart.

Jonathan had been present in my earliest of memories as my I grew up watching my Mother loyally serve Valentine. A rare job for a mundane but necessary, Valentine's house was full of servants to do his bidding and I was raised with the same expectation.

However things soon changed. I spent my first tender years close to my Mother sheltered from Jonathan, until Valentine went into hiding. The staff were dispersed and only my Mother stayed. She had little choice, she'd left the Mundane world behind her the moment she joined the serving staff and she raised me alongside Jonathan as she served Valentine spending most of are time in a tiny cottage in the valley.

Even then as a child Jonathan was focused on me. At first he was rude, he'd pick on me, hurt me. Then Valentine sent me away, he sent me to the Manor House to be with the other Jonathan. The name was the only similarity between the pair.

I spent a month in the Manor absent of my Mother and my Jonathan. The other Jonathan hardly acknowledged my presence and Valentine seemed endlessly frustrated. Which led to my abrupt return to the Valley.

My Mother seemed horrified by my return and her wide eyes searched my own desperate for information. But I retired quickly reluctant to have any sort of conversation.

That night Jonathan got his first marks. I remember his screams even now.

The memory jerked back away from me as I twisted the key in the door and pushed my weight against the stuck door. The door seemed fixed in it's frame and I took it at a run banging my shoulder into it and howling in pain as I did. I stumbled inside as the door gave in tripping over my feet as I clutched weakly at my pulsing shoulder which I swore was broken.

I clutched onto the counter and grunted as I tried to push back the burning tears. Perhaps not broken, but certainly dislocated.

No one was more use to broken bones than Jonathan, his training had been relentless and I would always watch him while I was meant to be studying entranced by his power.

My breath evened as I tried to separate my body from the pain controlling it enough to consider how to resolve the situation. Had Valentine been home he would have easily relocated the joint, but the thought of Jonathan touching me like that made me feel physically sick.

I'd watched enough television shows and documentaries to understand how one relocates a out of place joint but the thought of doing so without any form of pain suppressant didn't seem logical.

Pushing myself from the counter I used my good arm to move myself further into the kitchen reaching my personal cupboard. My hand patted down the surface reaching for my special box.

It was discrete, easily mistaken for a cosmetic bag, but it held a rather sinister concoction of symptom suppressants.

My breath hitched as I brushed my hands over the empty surface, where the pouch should have been. I'd only stocked up last night.

"Jonathan Chirstopher Morgenstern!" I screeched so loud my throat stung.

It took mere seconds for him to step out of the shadows a smile pulled over his handsome face.

"Now, now Millicent" he scoffed. "No need to be so angsty" he mocked.

I stared at him unable to comprehend what he'd done to look so smug.

"Although I do like the way you say my name" he decided licking his lips as his eyes scanned me. "Say it again" he commanded and I looked back blankly.

"What have you done to my bag, why have you been through my stuff?" I hissed clutching at my pulsing shoulder.

"Say it!" He shouted his chest flaring and I scanned the hunting gear, tight fitting and as dark as his eyes.

"Jonathan" I whispered.

"Say it Millicent!" He commanded.

"Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern" I spat out my eyes narrowed in anger.

"Ah, beautiful" he purred looking at me with wide eyes that seemed to search inside me.

"When I tell your Father that you've been going through my cupboard, that you've stolen …" I began but Jonathan cut me of with a thick laugh.

"When you tell him what Millicent. What will you tell him I've stolen? Won't that come at the risk of revealing your little, secret" he teased raising his eyebrows at the challenge.

"I've no secrets Jonathan" I lied standing up straighter at the challenge he presented.

"Oh Millicent, so naïve, so innocent, so fragile" he cooed stepping towards me and backing me into the fridge.

"Ask me Jonathan, you know you want to. Ask me" I shot as I felt him close the gap between us his feet pushing against my own.

"What, is wrong, with you Millicent?" He caved holding my stare as his hands hooked around my wrist. "Tell me, and I'll make this as painless as possible" he added giving my arm a gentle jerk which had me howling in pain.

"You already know what's wrong with me Jonathan. You follow me, you've been through my belongings, don't mock me" I spat jerking from his rough grasp and sobbing as I clutched my shoulder as the shooting pain.

"I want to hear it from you Millicent. I want to hear you say it" he seethed stepping towards me again his eyes narrow.

"I have, I have …" I broke of unable to utter the words that burned my throat. "You know what Jonathan, got to hell!" I screeched thumping my fists against his chest put he pinned them to my side.

"Why can't you say it?" He snarled. "Just say it …".

I couldn't. I wouldn't admit it to him. I couldn't be that weak. They could never know.

"No" I stated keeping my voice even.

His mouth pulled into a smile and he reached out to push a stray piece of hair behind my ear his fingers cold against my blushing.

"So beautiful" he muttered stroking away a burning tear.

"Beautiful?" I seethed. "Jonathan if you are hoping to impress me you should realise I won't swoon at beautiful. That's a very poor judge of character" I shrugged.

I watched his Adam's apple bob for a second as he swallowed his eyes gloriously wild for a moment and I thought he might take me there and then sending nervous shivers through me.

"We need to set your shoulder. Come here" he pulled at my belt loop his voice thick as I jolted into his chest and I looked up at his unusually open expression. He looked almost nervous.

I stood between his legs sandwiched between him and more work surface feeling my heart threatening to explode under his touch.

Jonathan's fingers were tender as they traced up my arm and hooked onto the t-shirt. A smirk tainted his face as his other hand moved up and the tore the fabric ripping it straight down the middle exposing my chest to him. I was relieved only monetarily that I hadn't gotten chance to remove my bra.

"I need to get a good grip" he explained his voice as soft as his fingers which padded over my flesh hooking up around my swollen shoulder blade.

"You'd always fix me. I remember Millicent, I'd come in after a day of training and you'd be there. Waiting for me. Even on the days when I wouldn't let you heal me, you'd sit there with you balms, so stubbornly insistent that if I wouldn't have runes I'd have to have something else" he reminisced stroking the strap of my bra making goosebumps spread over the path of his fingers.

"It was my job, it's still my job" I assured.

"No, it's more than that" he decided coming to set both hands on my limb preparing to push it back in place.

"Do you remember when I accidentally broke you foot?" I blushed as I recounted the memory.

"Do you remember what I did?" He probed his eyes dark.

"Yes, you … You kissed me. You were the first boy to do it, you stole my first kiss. You said you'd never had someone stand up to before. You told me you …" I broke of with a scream which ricocheted of the walls as my nails dug down into Jonathan hips as he forced my shoulder back into place.

I sagged against him my mind cloudy to with emotion as my shirt gapped causing my sore nipples to brush against the leather of his jacket. I clamped my legs together at the heat which began to pool.

"You broke my foot because I shouted at you as you were better at playing the piano than I was. So you dropped the metronome on my foot. And then I kissed you. Because I wanted you Millicent and you were forbidden which made me want you even more" he revealed pressing himself further against me his breath unsteady as the strays of bleach hair feel into his eyes.

Forbidden?

"That is enough Jonathan" Valentine commanded his voice stern and I heard the thud as he struck Jonathan across the face, hearing the splitting of his skin.

I gasped and then cried in horror as Jonathan fell back from me and Valentine glared down at me. I must have been a sight, my chest heaved as panic laced my veins, my shirt was hanging loose torn, my shoulder a crimson red and swelled to double it's usual size. My makeup smudged with tears and my lips puffy.

Jonathan stood back from me and looked submissively towards his Father his eyes dark.

"Millicent" he clipped his eyes stretching up and down me. "Fix this" he flounced his hand from me to Jonathan, unspecific of what he wanted fixing.

I nodded my head bobbing vigorously as I crossed my arms over my breasts not missing Jonathan's ogling.

"I returned for the parcel I had delivered this morning. I assume you have it" he snapped his fingers expectantly and it took me a few seconds to jerk into action looking around the room panicked.

"Parcel, yes parcel right" I gasped looking around the room not missing Jonathan mocking chuckles at my flouncing.

I moved from the kitchen hurrying towards were I expected the delivery would have been left if Jonathan was here to accept the parcel. As expected it was tossed carelessly onto the dinning table with a cluttering of post and my eyes darkened as I looked at the opened envelopes of everything addressed to me.

Jonathan's morning entertainment I see.

I snatched up the parcel and headed back to the kitchen but was only greeted by Valentine who had softened his eyes looking carefully down at my arm.

"Jonathan has gone to fetch you a healing balm" he addressed his eyes gentle with the love one would hold for a daughter.

"Will you be back?" I pressured.

"I will meet you and Jonathan later in the month" he answered with a sharp nod as he took the parcel and stepped past me. "Unless of course, either of you step out of line" he added as he walked along.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this slightly longer chapter. I'd love to have some reviews so if you could find the time to leave me your thoughts I'd be so grateful.**

 **We're All M-M-Mad Here thank you so much for the favourite and follow on my story! I love your profile name by the way!**

 **Taylor albarado a big thanks for following the favouriting the fiction!**

 **Jjchickybabe thanks for following the story.**

 **Thanks for following the story mUSIC777**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER THREE**

The stairs crept making every step more painstaking as I moved towards the top of the house seeking out wherever Jonathan was sulking.

Nothing seemed more frustrating for him then having his Fathers disapproval. Something which came easily with Jonathan's constant misbehaving. It wasn't as if he always set out to make the wrong choice, but somehow he always did.

I stalked forwards pulling the rag of a shirt and dumping in into the cupboards bin.

"Jonathan?" I called ducking my head briefly into the bedroom hoping to find him sat at the desk. "Jonathan?" I asked again into the empty space, prepared for him to spring from the shadows and thrust a knife tip at me. To my slight disappointment he did not.

In fact a quick sweep of the house left no sign of Jonathan, and Valentine had long since left. However what my probing did reveal was my bag stashed underneath a boxed set of blades which remained tightly sealed. I brushed my fingers over the powerful runes which sent goosebumps up my arms as I tried to comprehended their purpose.

I of course understood runes, and had followed a similar training to Jonathan for most of my early life despite having no claim to Shadowhunter blood. So I learnt runes, I studied the shadow hunter history, I was educated in weaponry and learnt how to abide by the traditional shadow hunter culture until I really did start feeling as if I may have been one.

I was always different, painfully so in comparison to the world around me and I feared my childhood had foiled any real chance of a life away from what lurked in the shadows.

A flick through the small bag revealed a strip from each packet missing and my suspicions grew on what it might be that Jonathan was doing with the byproduct. The last thing I needed was to try and conceal a addiction to prescription drugs from Valentine. But somehow I couldn't picture Jonathan getting high, he seemed to like control to much for that.

A more logical explanation of there absence would be for blackmail purposes, the threat of turning them over to Valentine. He'd thrive off the gloating rights he now held.

The room was not something I took any pleasure in being in and I was usually forbidden from entering, unless Jonathan snuck me in. He enjoyed showing off and reminding me of just how awful he could be.

Jonathan thought hard to keep his persona up.

I clutched the bag to my chest and headed back to my bedroom a cold shower and evening of reading beckoning me.

* * *

I shrugged on a silk night dress the colour of the night and shifted until it sat above my knee. It was part of a full set I'd brought myself for my birthday with gifted money. The underwear and gown were both laced with a fine trim and I felt unusually elegant in the attire.

It was a simple pick me up and enough to make me feel slightly better as I selected the corniest romance novel I owned of the book shelf and tucked it under my arm. Going on Jonathan's abrupt absence and hunting clothes I was pinning my hopes on him being out for a considerable part of the night which gave me free reign once more.

I heard the kettle boiling away and took the stairs with more haste at the thought of a energising black coffee to keep me up. After all I tended to stay awake on nights like this, nights when Jonathan disappeared after arguing with his Father. They were known to be his most reckless.

My pace had me settled with my book by nine o'clock on the uncomfortable Chesterfield which was chilling and the itchy blanket only made me squirm. I cranked the heating dials up and sat watching the fake fire with some disapproval. It was nothing like the roaring fires my Mother would stoke when I was a child.

I looked away and tried to refocus on the words of the book as the mysterious man seduced the heroine but the words seemed to blur. I should have thought better than to have coffee so late into the evening.

All I wanted to do was pull of the wig, slide down and groan into the leather as I felt a slight pounding begin but I re-centred myself on the page intent on finding a distraction to the thoughts of the day.

My eyes hurt from the strain of reading in the dark light as that seemed to be the final push as I through the paper back to the floor with a groan of frustration. I watched the spine tear and sprang from the sofa in surprise.

"Bugger" I muttered as I rescued the paper back and gave it a long stare. A voice distributed my mulling with a low chuckle.

Turning myself slowly I caught sight of Jonathan hunched over in the wing-chair cast in near darkness apart from the small light being brought my the fire and table lamps.

He looked at me through heavy lids, his eyes hooded somewhere between dislike and sleep.

"Jonathan" I scoffed frowning as I moved myself back to the sofa and drew the dressing gown around me as a defensive layer against his sharp tongue. I flicked my eyes over my attire the feelings of sophistication evaporating with one stare from him. I felt like a child dressed in one of my Mothers dresses.

But he continued his gaze and I remained squirming until at last he spoke.

"Millicent?" He shot back easily sitting himself upright and moving his eyes over my face as if sensing the discomfort he was causing in me.

"Have I got something on my face?" I questioned consciously moving a hand to touch at my cheek. "Your starting at me?" I probed trying to find my confidence.

"Don't flatter yourself. I was simply considering quite how ridiculous you looked. Trying to play dress up perhaps? Did I interrupt some fantasy of yours?" He quipped nastily.

I turned away from him visibly hurt and began to stroke the broken spine of the book. I could feel the sting in my eyes and I slammed the book on the sofa unsure whether I was more frustrated with myself or Jonathan.

"Hey Millicent hit that any harder and you'll dislocate that shoulder again. Wouldn't it be nice to have you begging for me again"he jibed and I swung the paperback towards him my reaction so freak it caught him off guard, but the book feel to his feet. My aim had been way off.

Jonathan smirked his eyes wild in sudden delight at the change in pace.

I pressed my back to the sofa as I contemplated what reaction this may spark from him.

"You can be so unkind" I choked out the tears catching in my eyes as the moment of weakness bubbled up inside of me.

"Millicent" he began his voice quiet as he peeled himself from the chair and stood up in front of me.

"No, don't you Millicent me!" I snapped brushing aside the tears ad I struggled to contain any dignity before him leaning forwards to shout the words causing my dressing gown to fall back.

I stopped abruptly and Jonathan's eyes were dark with something I had once considered to be hate. But now, now I felt it to be something else entirely.

"I know you saved me Jonathan, but all I seem to get off you is the message that you wish you would have let me die" I blubbered moving to stand before him as the words slipped out during the moment of continued lost control.

"You think I regret saving you? You think I wanted to let the demon kill you as well?" He laughed loudly, his voice full of mocking as it echoed of the walls. He ran a hand through this platinum hair as if trying to emphasis his coolness but I didn't miss the slight shake in the limb.

"I'm still a Shadow Hunter, I still save people. What makes you think your so special that I mull it over? Do you think I lie in bed at night tossing and turning over not letting your die. I'm not a pathetic, weak mundane like you Millicent" he lashed out.

I lifted the hem of the dress raising it up as I pawed at the tears which were collecting on my neck. Jonathan seemed to fall silent of a reply and I raised my eyes to meet his suddenly intent stare.

"Stop looking at me like that!" I cried my voice cracking.

"Like what, Millicent?" He laughed.

"Like you can't decide whether to kill me or, or …" I broke of as another sob crept up my chest.

"Or what? Say it!" He demanded stepping closer to me and I noticed his cut knuckles and the smell of blood coming from him.

"Devour me!" I screeched pushing him back from me and feeling something wet hit my palms.

"Don't flatter yourself Millicent" he sliced back.

I shoved my way past him as he attempted to block my path, no doubt to further antagonise me but as I darted for the stairs he grabbed at my wrist.

"I need healing" he stated his fingers applying a light pressure to my arm and I realised what the wet substance was I touched through his shirt.

"You can't be serious?" I laughed dumbfound at his collected tone.

He stared at me as if unable to understand the joke.

I looked from Jonathan to the Steele that he held in his hand. I knew what the marks that inked his skin could do to me. I recognised exactly what power that simple object could hold over me. Holding Jonathan's Steele also brought along a personal connection, a factor I could really do without.

"Millicent. Would you rather I bleed out over the carpet?" He quipped his voice a hiss as I jolted to the present.

"No of course not" I scoffed leaning across and snatching at sleek grey object. The Steele was lite in my hand and the encrusted gems stung my palm. I felt Jonathan cloud my thoughts and elicit delicious feelings within my subconscious.

"I need some light. We should go upstairs" I decided turning away before he could mock my words or put a crude take on it.

I led us in silence and I imagined the Irazte in my mind, it was the first rune I'd been taught and one I had only ever used on Jonathan. In fact I had only ever handled a Steele of Jonathan's, only ever marked Jonathan.

Jonathan is the closet relationship I've ever had to a man. The closest I may ever perhaps get.

"Was this to spite me?" I asked as I reached the top of the stair case and held back until he pressed against me.

"Don't speak in riddles Millicent" he groaned his voice thick and I wondered if he would fall into unconsciousness before I got my chance to heal him.

"I'm presuming you went out to pick a fight to try and hurt me. To get back at me for what you Father …" I began but he walked past me, his hand holding his side as he strode into his bedroom shutting off the conversation.

I clutched at his Steele as the bedroom door was slammed in my face and I toed the carpets thread uncertain of what to do as I stood on the landing feeling ridiculous.

The sound of crashing furniture jolted me towards Jonathan's door and I entered just as a chair was hurtled towards the doorway. I leapt back but not before the chair struck my legs causing me to drop the Steele and stumble forwards. I caught myself on Jonathan, grasping ahold of his blood stained shirt and tipping him towards the floor.

We banged to the ground a tangle of limbs as the Steele rolled away from us and the chair lay splintered behind me.

"I can't heal you if your going to through your bedroom furniture at me" I complained puffing air up to blow my hair from my eyes as I pressed up from Jonathan.

A low groan stopped me and I flinched away as I realised my hand had pushed into his chest.

His glare continued and I leant across him reaching for the Steele which I snatched up in my pulsing fingers. I held it between my teeth as I fumbled with the waist of Jonathan's trousers trying to free a knife. The sooner we got this over with the better.

The nightgown had hitched high up my legs as I straddled him, pinning him lightly to the ground. I screeched as I finally unhitched the blade catching the tip of my finger of the hilt. I smudged the blood onto his already ruined t-shirt but his eyes seemed to be quickly closing and it went unnoticed.

I used the knife to cut through the the hunting gear and pulled back to reveal his pale skin, laden with a adorning of dark marks. My gaze met the deep gouge in his side and I wondered for a moment just who he'd gotten himself caught up with.

"Stop getting off on this Millicent, and just draw the dam rune" Jonathan hissed through his teeth and I bit back a sharp reply. Instead I drew the Steele from my mouth and held it in my dominant hand trying to focus my mind on his skin.

I pulled the Steele across his torso as I traced the rune from memory over his skin watching the dark mark it left as it burned across his body.

My hand finished with a flick and I sat back on his waist trying to focus myself as I watched the bleeding begin to clot.

"Someone needs to get onto this thing for Mundanes" I teased with a tight smile as he looked up through his longing lashes.

"You think" he mused, for once playing along with me.

"Totally. This could be the end to all of the Worlds problems" I decided taking his arm and pulling him upright so I knelt before him at eye level.

"I doubt that" he laughed his eyes dark once more.

"Your such a pessimist" I scolded.

"I'm honest, there's nothing wrong with that" he retorted.

"Honest?" I laughed.

"Don't mock me Millicent" He growled pushing me from his lap and I recoiled hurt as he stood and paced away from me.

"I'm not mocking you Jonathan. I'm being honest. You lie, you deceive, you're a demon Jonathan you don't understand the meaning of honesty" I hissed. "And you dare to Lord your honesty in front of me as if it makes you righteous. But it doesn't because your honest, so honest you don't care if it hurts someone, or offends you don't consider others Jonathan, it's not honesty it's selfishness" I snubbed.

"I don't pay you to tell me what I am and what I am not Millicent, you are not here to judge my character" he shot back as he shrugged of the stained top layer revealing his blood stained chest.

"No of course not" I agreed. "I'm here to be a good house keeper. To keep to myself and do as you ask. I'm here to serve" I reminded myself pushing myself up. "I got it wrong Jonathan. Do forgive me, I fear we have blurred the boundaries in this relationship".

The words we true and Jonathan knew it. I had never been just a servant, an employee. The relationship I held with Valentine has always prevented such a occurrence. But yet Jonathan, my Jonathan who treated everything callously, who sought possessions not relationships, he couldn't quite draw a distinction between employee and friend. The lines blurred dangerously and somewhere along the process we had grown close, closer than I cared to admit.

"Millicent" he began, already attempting to back pedal.

I wanted space to consider everything and space involved being away from Jonathan. Valentine was right we both needed to behave. My body felt distant as I led myself towards the door kicking the shards of wood away from my path in frustration.

"Millie!" Jonathan boomed the words freezing me in place as my breath hitched.

"Clean yourself up Jonathan. Then come and find me to talk" I decided clenching my hands and unable to look back at him.

I ran myself a cold shower and washed Jonathan's blood from me and ditched the womanly clothes for something I could bear to sleep in. The flannel shirt caught on my chest as I pulled it down so it hung loose and oversized past my hips it's print peeling.

The bed was spacious and I presumed Jonathan had thought better than coming to disturb me so I through myself on top of the covers my bare legs stretched out cold toes brushing the bed sheet. I struggled to sleep under the duvet when stressed, my dreams were skittish and nightmares poked around in the depth of my mind.

I dimmed the lights, unable to willingly sleep in complete darkness and closed my eyes trying to understand where my life had gone so wrong.

* * *

The clock on the beside told me it was a little after midnight when the bed dipped and Jonathan came to lie next to me. I hitched my breath uncertain of what this might bring.

I opened my eyes and focused on him straining in the dim light. His hair was still damp from a shower and pushed back. He was bare chested and clad only in boxer shorts, his wound covered by a thin bandage. I rubbed my thighs together as I realised my shirt has hitched well past my mid-riff revealing the black lace between my legs which Jonathan was staring at.

"Jonathan?" I prompted and he moved his eyes over to my face, they seemed soft and welcoming. I didn't wait for a response, or permission as I rolled myself into him, curling into his chest as he stiffened against my physical contact.

"I'm sorry Millicent" he apologised and I nuzzled my face into his shoulder pressing my lips gently to the cool skin.

He pulled me closer, his body softening as he moulded himself around me his hands running down my back and planting themselves around me holding me in place.

"Have you decided, what you want me to be yet Jonathan. Do you want us to be friends, well will you let me be your friend?" I asked the question strange.

"I don't have friends Millicent" he corrected his voice low.

"You do" I countered pulling my arms down to his waist. "Me and you, we've always been friends, you've just been to much of a jerk to admit it" I added with a giggle.

Jonathan allowed me to fall asleep without further comment and it felt an unusual self-less act for the man who was usually so cold and distant. Or at least he usually was to other people, even to his Father.

I had yet to truly decide just how much of the inner demon consumed Jonathan, although I was suspicious that a small part of him still yearned to be human.

* * *

 **brunette-in-black thanks for the favourite!**

 **Guest reviewer thanks for leaving me your question. Forbidden for a couple of reasons really it's not a simple answer. Millicent is under Valentine's protection and he more than anyone knows how dangerous Jonathan can be, and to protect Millie he wants to keep her way from him.**

 **Millie being a mundane doesn't help matters either!**

 **And the fact that originally Valentine planned to have Millie with Jace in his grand scheme hence why she continued to be sent to the Manor House, but Jace was uninterested in her.**

 **Stellar Nymph thanks for the favourite and the follow on the story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FOUR**

I palmed the bed sheet where he had been instinctively expecting Jonathan to still be lay beside me. But I was wrong as I rolled over onto the pillow still damp from his hair. I inhaled deeply drawing in his scent and feeling it's warm embrace.

The alarm clock on the table read a time in the afternoon and I groaned realising how much of Saturday I had already wasted through sleep. My body craved sleep, desperate for any moment it could cease.

Jonathan however seemed quite the opposite. He slept irregularly chose his moments precisely.

"Jonathan?" I muttered pushing myself upright on the stack of pillows and moving my eyes over the bedroom. It was empty of his presence apart from a curved weapon which sat on the cabinet.

I curled my lip in distaste and skirted away from it looking for my yoga pants before I ventured downstairs. I found a navy pair and hoisted them up, exchanging my t-shirt for a darker one and looping my hair into a bun.

The night-shirt worked as a aid to transport the weapon and I concealed what appeared to be a dagger into the fabric avoiding touching the metal.

I checked Jonathan's bedroom initially assuming he'd be working on some papers or reading, however as I crossed into the landing the brutal sounds of warfare drifted up to me.

My shoulders tensed at the thought of going to see him in the training room and I slowed my walk to a crawling pace as I headed down the stairs and towards him. Jonathan was not someone I was eager to reach this morning, not after last nights strange encounter.

I twisted through the house until I entered the darker areas were the training area was set back into, not far from the weapons room. I hit my free hand against the door and attempted warning before I burst in on Jonathan. I had learnt better than to take him of guard as I child.

When Jonathan fought it was captivating as he appeared almost trance like as he performed his war dance.

"We need to lay down some ground rules about leaving this in my bedroom" I complained stepping into the dimly lit room and shoving the weapon in front of me. "Jonathan?" I beckoned.

The man seemed completely detached from my ranting as he circled a strung bag from the wall a long stick clutched between his two bound hands. My eyes drew over his taught back, only marred by thick red wounds that seemed angry as the sweat trickled down his back. His hair was damp at the ends and the sweatpants hung low on his hips as he lunged forward his muscles tightened and I inhaled sharply.

Jonathan loved fighting and when we were growing up Valentine humoured him enough to allow him to take a few blows at me. However his resolve thickened after Jonathan lost control and he was instead instructed to teach me defence. Valentine deduced there was no one as skilful as Jonathan, therefore he was the perfect teacher.

"Get. Out. Millicent" he grunted as he struck out at the bag again sending the chain rattling.

"Jonathan" I countered ignoring the warning signs of his dark mood, I stepped towards him gently setting a hand on his back.

"Millicent are you as thick as you look, get the hell out" he instructed dropping the stick and turning towards me his face filled with tension and I leapt back.

"Your going to hurt yourself. You need to rest, your still healing. Let's go out for lunch somewhere. I know this amazing place down by the …" I suggested but he cut me of with a bitter laugh.

"Fuck of Millicent, your doing my head in!" he cut turning back to the sack and delivering blows to it with his bare fists. I eyed the runes traced up his arms and bowed my head to the floor.

I left the room quietly, slowly closing the door behind me and pacing up the corridor taking deep calming breaths.

The Baltic Amber anklet I wore could have done something to control my reeling thoughts. It was as I began to approach the lighter part of the house I felt the pulsing of the knife still in my hand and groaned in realisation.

I pulled back the cloth revealing the dagger it's handle slightly curved with Runes raised across the metal. The weapon was slightly weighted and I balanced it in my palm as I tried to decide what to do with it.

The darker side of my personality decided it would be a good idea to vent out some of my frustrations and I took the knife into my right hand. I tried to remember how Jonathan had taught me to through but it had been years since he'd touched me like that. I gave up on any form of position and with a growl of rage I through the knife forwards.

I watched hopefully as it shot through the air making it a fair distance before it dropped to the ground. I turned my head to the side considering what to do next. I stepped forward and moved to disregard the knife, it reminding me only of Jonathan as his hateful way.

"Pick it up Millicent. It seems you still have a terrible aim" Jonathan quipped his voice sharp as he stepped beside me looking at the down cast knife.

I looked from him to the weapon concerned I would be aiding my death if I chose to pick up the knife. I was sure he'd come to finish me off. Perhaps things had gone to far after all last night.

"No" I stated firmly and to my surprise he moved instead crossing the short space and collecting the knife from the carpeted floor. My eyes widened as I searched his bare chest which was sticky with sweat and he smelt musky which had my head pulsing.

"Try again" he suggested handing me back the knife by the hilt, the blade stabbing into his skin, but his dark eyes showed no sign of pain.

"I don't want to" I disagreed stepping away from it. "I'm just a mundane remember Jonathan" I added a little dig.

As expected my words made Jonathan tense and he stepped forwards pushing the hilt into my palm. "Take it Millicent" he instructed this time pushing the weapon more forcefully at me.

I looked down at the strange object which seemed oddly placed against my skin.

"Tea. I think we should have some tea" I decided trying to stalk towards the kitchen but Jonathan snatched at my hips pulling me back into place his head shaking in protest.

"Try again Millicent" He repeated turning me towards the wall I had originally aimed towards.

"What are you trying to prove Jonathan?" I hissed allowing him to position me with his hands.

"That you still remember something I taught you" he narked his hand brushing under my breast as he turned me side on.

"Relax your body Millicent" he instructed guiding his hands down my chest to rest on my hip bones digging in gently with his fingers. "Straighten up" he added pushing on my back with his own as he drew closer to me his clothes brushing against me and his sweat seeping onto my shirt.

I inhaled sharply as his hand slipped between my legs and his teasing fingers pushed my right leg forwards, setting it slightly apart from the left.

Jonathan's hand skirted back up my body and I allowed him to turn the knife in my hand.

"What are you thinking Millicent?" Jonathan asked his breath tickling my ear.

"About growing up together. About how much you've changed, about how you've become a man" I mused feeling his body pushed against me.

"And you have become so frustratingly enigmatic with age Millicent. You are tireless" he complained brushing his lips across my head.

I through the knife gently and watched in surprise as it rotated the necessary distance before sinking into the wooden panel.

My body turned towards Jonathan as I squealed in delight. I moved into hug him and to my surprised he accepted my embrace lifting me up from the ground and pressing are bodies together in a delicious way.

The movement had me feeling light headed and suddenly the world was rotating and Jonathan became no more than a blur as I fainted.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this update, if you'd be able to leave me a review I'd be very grateful.**

 **Stellar Nymph thank you for leaving me a review. Although Mundane's aren't technically supposed to be able to do so, Valentine has had some influence on Millicent with the time she has spent with the family over the years.**

 **FandomQueenLaura thank you for the follow on the story.**

 **Nikahlee Thanks for the follow on the story.**

 **Rainy-Round Thank you so much for leaving me a review! I'm glad your liking this story and I hope you enjoyed this update. Also I really appreicate you following the story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Jonathan looked at me through heavy lids, his eyes hooded somewhere between desire and sleep. He had concluded that he could fall asleep watching me everyday. I was like a precious lullaby.

My face was easy as I padded about the kitchen in those God-awful rubber shoes which squelched about with every step. But it wasn't that he was watching. It was the yoga-ants that clung to my thigh, glided over my arse and drew in at the waist. The t-shirt of his which draped shaplessly catching only on my pronounced breast. He licked his lips as he eyed my erecting nipples, straining through he shirt in the cold kitchen.

I was at ease here, in the place which had become my home. So much so that I walked around unconscious of the need for formalities. He could smell my sex, the slight smell of arousal that I was to up-tight to deal with. The t-shirt that dared him to lift up to sneak a glimps of my bare chest.

Either I was a tease, or blissfully unaware of my sexuality, and the affect that it was having on him.

My routine was constant. I'd come in, frustrated and cranky from my work with the Mundane world . Pull down my hair, kick of my shoes, drop my bag and reach under the shirt to un-clasp my bar. He'd watch as I dumped it on top of the pile of items as I moved towards the kitchen to start dinner.

One day he would catch me coming in. He'd get me against the wall, he'd slip his hands under the shirt and …

I jolted awake breathless and clammy. I felt around for my sheets but only felt the coolness of Jonathan under my palms and I bolted upright my eyes scanning the room as I tried to settle my paranoia.

My breath soothed as I saw Jonathan dressing himself his eyes watching me in the mirror as he turned the shirt unbuttoned and a smirk pulled over his face.

"You have vivid dreams Millicent, clearly. You talk, during your sleep. It's quite fascinating" he lured but I didn't rise to his bait, instead running a hand over myself to check everything was still in place.

"Where are you going?" I asked trying to skirt over why I was in his room, especially as the memory of my collapse began to roll back over me and the deep aching in my body seemed to fill in the gaps.

"I have a date to make" he smirked and I tensed considering what that would entail.

"Well do you need anything doing, while your out?" I questioned tensely trying to keep my voice even.

"It'd be best for you to stay inside for the moment. It'll take some time for you to adjust to your new surroundings. I wouldn't want you going out and getting lost" he shrugged as he began to button up the shirt.

"Where are we Jonathan?" I hissed crawling forwards over his dark bedsheets.

"France" he revealed nonchalantly as if he was simply passing the time of day.

"France!" I screeched moving to stand on the bed but my legs gave out as I sank back onto the mattress with a hiss of pain.

"Paris, to be precise Millicent" he finalised beginning to pull on a tie that was as dark as his eyes that hadn't moved from me through his entire dressing session.

"You've brought me to Paris. You, you … monster!" I screeched finally finding the power in my body I pushed through the pain to propel myself from the bed and leap towards him.

He'd promised me time and he'd lied. He'd whisked me away in the enchanted house to a foreign land, he'd violated my trust, my consent and he'd taken me away from all that was familiar. I felt small and isolated. Jonathan had made me vulnerable again and I hated him for that.

The element of surprise had me knocking Jonathan back and I lashed out my nails clawing at his face hard enough to draw blood and I sunk my teeth into his chest until I cold taste him in my mouth. He through me back almost instantly and my body smacked with a crack against the floor.

"I gave you time Millicent. I gave you as much time as I could. Plan changed" he tried to justify but the rest of his sentence was lost behind my sobs as I shook the cries heaving from my body as I battled the anxiety which as flooding my veins.

So I cried, I howled as the agony ripped through my chest at the betrayal he'd made and Jonathan sat beside me, his back slouched against the wall as he watched me his tie pulled loose and sleeves rolled up.

He sat and watched me and I think it was the most compassion I'd seen in him for a long time. This was Jonathan's remorse.

After a while I stopped crying and curled myself into a ball turning my face away from him and I lay there until I finally heard him leave.

Despite his advice I showered, dosed myself on my strongest medication and set out of the door and into the streets of Paris losing myself for a night in the city.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Please review, I hope you liked the chapter! Stay tuned for the update of Millicents night in Paris! Thanks Kat1894 for following the story.**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SIX**

My mind whirled as I strode through the centre of Paris trying to rationalise what Jonathan had done. His business in France must surely be dangerous and I wanted no part in it. But the more fragile part of my mind insisted I stay. Forced me from finding my passport and jumping on the next ferry back to England. I had to be with Jonathan. I had to do my duty to this family, I had to keep him safe.

I found a tiny coffee shop in a dodgy looking backstreet a brisk walk away from the house. By the time I settled myself in the back having playfully flirted my way in with the barrister and sitting without any drink to claim, it became apparent I was quite out of my depth.

I spoke some French of course. Living out in a cottage was a very solitary business and Shadowhunters were quite intent on training and learning. But right now I hadn't a penny to my name. Well at least not anything that could be used here. The safety-net that Valentine formed during my time spent with Jonathan was now under threat.

Who really knew we were here?

I had a Doctor to contact, medication to order, and a boss to try and justify my sudden need for absence. Not to mention a handful of friends who'd be questioning my sudden disappearance.

My head swam with emotions and I fluctuated from hate to compassion as I tried to plot myself inside Jonathan's mind. Something no one should be burdened with.

I wished for a moment I had a phone, something I could contact Valentine on. A way I could rant and rave and shout until my throat felt hoarse. But I had no such resource. So instead I smiled at the barrister having bribed him with a fake mobile number and slunk back out of the café heading towards the sound of the bustling night life that I allowed myself to become lost in.

My feet were pulsing and my head hurt as I knocked back another drink I'd allowed the tenth strange man to buy me.

I wasn't in the habit of clubbing, let alone accepting the drinks of strangers but tonight I was wild. I had failed in the code of the sisterhood. I was supposed to track my drinks, never move alone, watch out for the coy looks of others and never accept the drink offered by a man.

But tonight I wasn't rational. Tonight I didn't even have to be Millicent, I could be whoever I wanted to be. I was in Paris. I was a new woman.

I drank until I couldn't think straight and went home with a man whose name I hadn't caught.

* * *

Authors Note:

Very short, but will be updating soon! I hope you enjoyed this one, and the reckless side of her! Do you think Jonathan will find out, and if he does what his reaction will be! Please reiview.

.Weird thank you for support for the story by following and favouriting it!


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

The sun wasn't broken yet and I walked along the familiar street trying to get my bearings as I returned home from a night filled with unanswered questions as to what exactly I'd done.

A man, called Sebastian had offered to escort me back, but I had no clue as to where it was I needed escorting. We'd drank expensive coffee, I saw the runes up his arms and he'd openly admitted he knew of Jonathan. He was doing him a favour. A favour for a friend he'd said.

I suppose I should be grateful. Grateful he'd not slept with me. Grateful I hadn't someone take advantage of my drunken state. But instead I just felt numb. Numb to it all.

Perhaps it was the alcohol still humming through my bloodstream or perhaps it was just the side effects of the medication but I couldn't seem to shift the dark cloud that stretched across my mind.

My bare feet felt dirty against the concrete that was uneven and I felt ashamed that my attempt to lash out at Jonathan had been so feeble and unsuccessful. Perhaps I'd be better trying to jump from the Effie Tower? Surely he couldn't intervene in that.

I felt sick as I imagined him watching me, watching me the entire night waiting to intervene.

Was I allowed no freedom? No chance to live?

I wanted to strike out in anger as I looked around hopelessly lost in the big city.

My legs began to shake and I ducked my head as I rounded a corner to face my worst fear. Valentine stood before me his eyes flaring with anger and I paused mid-step the shame building within me. But worse still stood Jonathan beside him.

I ran my eyes over his broken stance. He was hunched and I could see the blood seeping towards the front of his back from the whipping he must have received. He looked at me passively as if he wasn't even with us.

Valentine looked unusually dishevelled and I wondered who had called him to us. Surely not Jonathan. Perhaps his visit had been planned. Either way he looked ready to eat me.

"I'm sorry" I whimpered feeling suddenly cold as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Your sorry?" He whirled. "Do you realise what happens to mundane girls like you. Do you even comprehend what could have happened, these mundanes they're vultures, filth without any moral compass. You could have been drugged, raped, murdered Millicent. You're lucky to be alive" he spat crowding into my personal space with his eyes snake like drawing my watery gaze.

I hadn't the words and my shame engulfed me like a led weight pulling me down.

Valentine struck at me. His hand rose and he struck at my face slapping at me with such a force it knocked my weakened body down to the curb.

I fell quickly dropping to my knees with a grunt of pain, my head jolting back to catch sight of Jonathan launch forwards. He drew his blade, calling out as he slashed towards his Father. Even wounded he moved quickly, but Valentine seemed to predict the move and blocked it swiftly.

The pair paused for a second and something indescribable passed between them. I watched the slow movement of Valentine's chest and the pain behind Jonathan's black orbs. I was wordless and I stole a glance at the empty street pawing at the pavement as I tried to right myself.

Father and son danced around one another weapons drawn and moves being placed and countered in a rhythmic dance. Jonathan may be the most talented Shadowhutner known to the race, but Valentine had trained him. Perhaps it was his betrayal which angered Valentine most or Jonathan's defence of me, either way he was relentless striking out at Jonathan's weak spot.

I forced myself up and lunged between the pair the knife catching my forearm and dropping me to the pavement, the action being enough to separate the duel.

"Enough!" I cried clutching at my arm as the blood trailed down to my fingers. "Just stop it. Your all I have. All I have do you understand?" I demanded feeling the tears wet on my face. "Just stop" I added my breath a whisper.

"Millie …" Valentine began but I waved his words away unwilling to hear them.

"How do I get home?" I asked trying to keep my voice even, unwilling to look in Jonathan's direction through fear it may completely break me.

Valentine reeled off the directions and I left without another word to the pair, infuriated with both of there actions.

I left them to resolve there own issues, content with having to manage my own.

* * *

I pulled on a thick knitted jumper which brushed my knees and began to wind a scarf around my neck. Valentine was avoiding making eye contact with me as he sat beside the fire, but Jonathan took no shame in glaring at me with apparent disgust.

My face was still red from where Valentine had hit me, and Jonathan sat upright his back wounds bandaged from the beating he'd received. His lip was split and eye bruised from he fight that had ensued between the pair. No words were spoken between them but the atmosphere was unusually tense.

Next I picked up my heavy parka coat front the table pulling it one, the material tighter than usual having to fit it over so many layers. I finished the outfit off with a hat and glove set.

Jonathan was leaning forward in the armchair his back to the fire and his eyes dark and ogling.

"I have left your dinner in the oven, it's plated. It'll just need lifting out when your ready. Make sure you use the oven mitts" I warned. "If you have any problems, I can be contacted on my mobile, I've written all the numbers down by the landline. The kitchen is stocked up and I will be back before midnight. I have left the central heating on, the towels are warming in the bathroom. Don't forget to turn the oven off after you've used it. I will see how I go, if it gets to cold I will be back before" I rambled on and Valentine waved his hand dismissively.

"Would you stop your chittering Millicent it is quite pointless" Valentine shot. "And Jonathan, do go with her if you must I fear she may combust if you stare at her any harder".

Jonathan took a second to process his Father's words and was up before I could protest to it.

"You can glamour yourself" I shot my voice tight.

"I'll do no such thing" he argued back reaching out to pull a jacket from the hook and shrugging it on covering some of his runes.

"You must, people will stare" I protested.

"Let them" he husked his eyes pooling in darkness as he looked at me so intently I turned away, embarrassed by his feelings.

We left without another word and Jonathan held on to my hips steadying me as I stumbled from the portal and out into the crisp evening.

My breath came out like a dragons and it hitched as Jonathan's hold remained.

"I think my Father is coming around to the idea" he mused losing me with his crypticness.

"Idea of what?" I snubbed my mind willingly me to leave his hold but my body keeping still.

"Of letting me have you" he revealed.

"I am not a possession" I quipped jerking away from him and starting off into the darkness.

He caught up with me in a stride and snatched me back jerking me into his hard frame.

"Your are far more than a possession Millicent. You are something to behold, and I want you. You are my most shameful desire. You fill my mind. You are my most basic need, I crave you. The human in me requires you Millicent" he gushed. "I love you" he admitted and I stood encircled in his embrace.

"Demon's don't know of love Jonathan" I pulled back angry with his confession. "And you could never love me" I complained tiredly.

"Millicent, do not insult me. You will love me" he snarled jerking me back to his chest his hands tight and brushing.

It snapped something in me.

"Get off me!" I roared thrusting with all my strength and sending us both stumbling back into a wall. Jonathan tugged me from the street his grip vice like as we entered a dark alley. It stunk filling my nostrils with the smell of drugs and my foot landed in a puddle of goodness knows what.

He clashed his face against mine, forcing his lips down and his hands tried to pull me closer to him but I struck out biting down at his lip until he dropped back. His eyes were engulfed in blackness.

"You stole my first kiss Jonathan and I'll be damned if I let you steal another. You disgust me!" I seethed wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

I ran from the alley before he could pursue me the tears stinging my eyes. I followed the scant directions, but I was uncertain if I'd been followed. I came to the sea front and leant against the rail awaiting the firework display that was supposed to be lighting up the sky any minute.

My hands fumbled around until I found the phone and I dialled the number from memory slumping against the rail as I finally heard the familiar words of Hodge.

For reasons I didn't understand Hodge was forced to keep Valentine's secrets and I'd visited him on only a handful of occasions when I'd been smuggled inside of the Institute for business matters. I acted as a go between at times and I relished in the normality and perspective he was able to bring.

Hodge kept the other Jonathan. He went by Jace now and I was filled with endless tales of his vanity, beauty and cunning skill. But I kept it from Jonathan, from my Jonathan unable to damage his fragile mentality anymore.

"It will all be over soon Millicent. But worse lies ahead. You need to stay strong. You need to keep going" Hodge appeased from miles away and I wanted to laugh at how easy he made it seem. Just keep going? How? I was going into the unknown.

* * *

Valentine was waiting up for me and I hesitated for a moment looking over him. Like his son he was usually so immaculately groomed but now he just seemed aged.

I pulled off the layers of clothes until I was cool enough in the warm house and kicked of my shoes. Slowly I moved towards the seat and sunk down beside him allowing my body to fall into his. He cradled my face and embraced me in the way only a Father could.

"Jonathan. He's a monster Millicent. You understand this don't you? There's a reason I had to send you away. I had to try and offer you a choice. You always have a choice. You can walk away. You can walk away from this all you understand?" Valentine husked and I tensed trying to process his words through my fuzzy head.

"I love Jonathan, I've loved him since I was old enough to understand such a concept. My love for him, is has never ceased, it only grows stronger. But I'm broken to, I'm unlovable do you understand that? He can't have me because I am not here to last. I cant be with him forever. There will come a point … when I have to go" I broke of my voice sharp and throat rough.

"Go…" he repeated and I watched him consider the words.

"I will not let your illness kill you Millicent, you know this. I cannot. Jonathan. He can't know of this it would derail everything" Valentine warned and I nodded uncertain of what it was I was actually agreeing to.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Im continuously surprised by the growth of followers on this story! Clearly I'm not alone in my desire for more fanfictions about Jonathan, even if he isn't very well behaved! Thank you everyone who is sticking with the story.**

 **We've lots in store still.**

 **Any reviews greatly appreciated.**

 **Debra Williams thank you very much for the follow and the favourite on the story, and a big thank you for following and favouriting my story! I hope you've had chance to check out my two other fanfic's!**

 **Guest reviewer, thank you so much for taking the time to answer me! I had originally gone with the idea of Millicent being picked up and spending a rather regretful night with a stranger, and Jonathan tracking them down, losing his shit and killing the guy! But I scrapped it and came up with this alternative. I hope you liked it. Thanks again.**

 **MerlynnPendragon thank you for the favourite and the follow on the story.**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

I'd fallen into a pattern of normality as the days in Pairs stretched out into nearly a week. Valentine had disembarked almost as quickly as he had appeared and I was left alone in a big empty house with no one to keep me company.

Jonathan was avoiding me like the plague and I kept to myself only leaving to fill the day and even then trips were kept brief.

I cleaned the house within an inch of it's life, even scaling into the eves which had cost me a good three hours waiting for Jonathan to come and get me down the retched ladder as my vertigo had me fainting.

My body had also taken well to the warmer air and I'd taken some time to undergo more grooming than I'd usually factor the time for. I'd decluttered half my wardrobe and was trying to rid Jonathan of a few of his dress shirts.

We lived separate lives and I didn't question what he was doing as he stepped out late into the night and returned in the early hours of the morning. The fourth night in had been the worse.

I flipped the switch of here shower cutting of the flow of water and I reached for the soft towel patting myself down. A more enjoyable part of living here was that no luxury was spared. I pulled the towel around me feeling my energy already draining.

The central heating was drumming along and I felt a warmth on my skin as I stepped back inside my bedroom. It was the kind of warmth that made you feel sleepy and I thought the urge to fall straight into bed.

I pulled out he tall chest of draws which weren't exactly something you could pick out from IKEA. Like most of the furniture here it was hand crater and than even Valentine. Some pieces I recognised from the Mannor nouse or the cottage in the valley, however most had been sourced elsewhere.

My hands looped around a familiar t-shirt with a flaking print and a pair of stripy leggings.

The clothes slid into place and I pulled the bedsheets back warming the bed through ready from when I retired.

Jonathan had left hours ago to an undisclosed location. By the time I'd returned from the street market all I found was a set of shadow hunting gear strewn in the laundry basket.

My hands faltered in my dress as I heard the creaking of the stair and a light feminine laughter bouncing about the old walls of the house. The sound was delicious and I suspected was far from human. I tried hard to avoid being around for Jonathan's latest conquest but tonight I would have to endure it.

The sound of heavier footfall not he stairs made me freeze and I heard a bang as I presumed Jonathan pushed her towards his room.

The bedroom nob twisted slightly and I held my breath my eyes wide in horror. Jonathan's voice muffled behind the wood and the girl giggled once more before the handle returned to it's relaxed position.

* * *

I didn't sleep at all. My mind was racing and I ended up back at the same pokey little coffee shop that served a lush cappuccino.

Of course I was forced to return to the house at some point and it came in the early hours having walked until I could no more.

As with all of Jonathan's lady friends, the morning would not be something to be indulged upon. Either he'd be gone before she woke or expect her to disburse of herself quickly having lost all interest in her.

With the sounds they were still producing into the early hours I didn't doubt it would be the later as Jonathan wouldn't be emerging from his room till well after later afternoon.

In the corridor I set out a pair of clothes I'd salvaged from my scrap pile hoping they may fit. A glass of water and a small note politely suggesting she may be wasting her time on hanging around until Jonathan was to wake. I signed it off with my name and left enough money for what I hoped would cover some sort of taxi fair. But who knew what this human, or creature may use for transportation.

Either way I was not expecting a response.

So when I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and found the clothes, drink and money gone stumbled to a clumsy halt as I found a note scrawled in return. Looking around hastily considering how this could after all be a trap I moved down stairs to the kitchen to retreat from Jonathan – even if he was fast asleep.

I flipped the kettle and looked down at the tightly formed scroll.

She was called Trixie and began by thanking me for my hospitality. But her note turned more sinister and I scrunched it up in my hand as I finished and launched it across the room with a shriek.

My body shook and I was taken aback by the power of my own voice as my hands balled and my voice cried out the anger I'd been trying to contain.

Whether Jonathan was already awake or I'd stirred him I was uncertain but he was moving about and I flinched as I realised he was coming down to see me. Coming to see what I was whaling about.

It took a few seconds until I saw him dismount the staircase bare chested with his jeans sitting lowly on his hips his torso dipping to form the perfect v shape. His hair was ruffled and he was clutching his Steele in his hand looking for the danger. At last his eyes settled on me.

I was the danger he seemed to realise.

Jonathan stared darkly at me as he strode the short distance between us closing it quickly meeting my eyes that were wide and filled with anger. I didn't show my fear although he knew it bubbled up inside of me. Jonathan knew he terrified me.

I was something he'd been entranced by. Shadow Hunters were always so clear cut. They were stubborn, blunt and all angles and lines. He thought the dark runes marred their skin and their bodies were built for strength only. They trained hard leaving their bodies taught and rigid.

I was the opposite and had been something he'd hardly been exposed to. I was flowing curves, soft features, and potential weakness. It was something he'd never experience before. My Mother was slim, with hard features and a cold outlook. But I was the opposite. I was open, my heart poured from me and I tried to embrace the world.

"You!" I accused hotly my breath hitching as he didn't back away but only seemed to increase are proximity. "You brought a girl home. You let her invade my privacy, invade are home and then toss her out like some alley cat in the morning! You spent hours together. I had to leave, it was relentless. And then … then after it all. I get left a note, a note Jonathan telling me it's not really her you wanted" I hissed my eyes narrowing as I built up my hands failing about around me.

"She told me. She told me everything. Her note told me exactly whose name you cried when you orgasmed" I spat the word feeling dirty to me. "You cried out for me. You were imaging that she was me. You didn't want her. You used her to pretend you were fucking me. That's sick. That's some seriously twisted stuff" I seethed trying to back away from him.

"You disgust me!" I added my breath hot against his face.

"I am not four Millicent, please, do not insult me" he quipped back his voice surprising even.

"Fine. If you wanted to be treated like an adult…"I decided reaching my hand back I through it forward slapping him around the face.

I screeched as he reached my hand away about to spit some vial words at me his grip bruising but I cut in first.

"Don't you ever, ever do anything like that again do you understand. I am not some pornstar fantasy Jonathan. You have embarrassed me, you have violated me do you understand? I am not something you should masterbate to. We are done here" I gestured for him to go but he didn't move instead he continued his glare.

I stepped past him stormed upstairs and busied myself with stripping his sheets, the anger turning into a need to clean. Anything to keep busy and keep my mind from what I'd discovered.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER NINE**

Jonathan opened the door at the worst possible time and I stood for a moment unsure of how to react. The bra rested upon my forearms waiting to be slid on and the emerald lace between my legs was my only piece of clothing. My hair was braided into two bunches and Jonathan took it all in with one quick glance.

I felt ashamed to admit my lack of sexual activity, in a way I suppose all women were supposed to. You were either a slag or a prude. I fell into the later category. My blush was crimson and burning as I froze unable to dress myself, trapped from covering myself up. Because this was Jonathan, this was my Jonathan.

Women were made to feel ashamed of their bodies and I despised mine.

My facial features weren't sharp of contorted they weren't just plain. Normal. Not dramatically stunning nor particularly beautiful. My hair was not my own and what of mine did remain under the wig was thinning and brittle. Unlike the girls Jonathan was usually with my breasts didn't fit into tiny lacy bra's you got from the boutique shops, my hips were wide and curving and my arse pert.

I didn't know what to make of my body, or what Jonathan thought of it.

His hair was waxed back and his clothes were tellingly formal. Not quite Mundane but far from the hunting gear he usually went out in.

I could smell the liquor on him from the small distance between us and as he closed the gap between are bodies I allowed the lingerie to fall the small sound it emitted as it hit the floor feeling like a bomb in the silence.

The buttons to his shirt were undone and the dark black masked the blood well that I could see were staining it. His trousers had a slight tear and my eyes lingered on the knife that was held there.

"Jonathan" I whispered my eyes searching his own dark ones for some sign of what he'd done. But the Prince of Darkness seemed lost for a moment, absent from me.

I reached out for him and the moment I lopped my fingers around his wrist he snatched away striking out at my face so hard I whimpered as he split my lip. The blood felt metallic in my mouth and I stumbled back to the bed feeling rejection rising up in me like a sickness. I covered myself, linking my arms around my chest and tucking my head down unwilling to look at him.

"Millicent" he hissed and I felt his body brush up against my legs. I stole a glance as he sunk to his knees beside me his head falling into my lap his face cool against my warm limbs freshly clean from the shower.

His lips brushed against the moisturised skin and I felt the goosebumps rise as he licked at me before drawing my skin into his mouth and sucking hard for a moment.

"What have you done Jonathan. What was that?" I demanded shoving his head from my lap with a hand unwilling to allow his pity on me.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. My mind was … distracted" he fidgeted his hands restless as they ran the length of my thighs as if trying to ground himself with my presence.

"What have you done?" I repeated my voice cracking with emotions that I couldn't explain as I looked into his dark eyes.

"I've killed someone Millicent. I killed a man" the demon revealed his voice deep.

"Oh Jonathan" I whispered fighting the feeling to push him away from me. But I only pulled him closer. My arms dropped back and I pulled him up into me falling back on the spread I pushed his head against my bosom and held him as he lay quietly trapped inside his own mind and I felt a single tear shed.

That was the night Jonathan made a choice. Jonathan chose, and he chose wrong.

But he was my Jonathan.

He was my keeper, my friend, my guardian and my lover. So I held him tighter and I lay with him all night until the moon departed and the sun rose and he pushed me away and stalked from the room as if he was ashamed of the display of emotion he'd shown onto me.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello my lovely readers hope you enjoyed this chapter, update a little early for you as I am off on holiday for a little over a week but I will be updating once I get back! Well I hope you liked the chapter as much as I loved writing it.**

 **Just to clear up a few points. Jonathan had only just murdered Sebastian and this is whose blood he is covered in, and why he is so bustling with adrenaline that he strikes out at Millie.**

 **The next chapter will see Millicent's reactions to Jonathan trying to assume Sebastian's identity.**

 **Zane Nassour, glad to see you're a fellow fan of Jonathan and like the look of your mortal instrument fanfiction you have written! Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I'm very pleased to hear your hooked on the story. Happy to know your enjoying it. Yes I agree, I've tried to keep Jonathon from going to dark so far. He definitely keeps himself in check (most of the time) when he's around Millicent.**

 **Guest review thank you for hitting the nail on the head there! You got that one spot on. I've always been so tempted to do a chapter under jJonathan'sPOV but I'm continuing to resit, although it would be good for people to see the way he thinks about Millie.**

 **I completely agree with you, Jonathan get's very turned on by her in general, especially when they argue and she gets stressed and starts yelling!**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER TEN**

I took another spoonful of granola shovelling it into my mouth before turning my attention back to the paper back I was reading with great intent. At this rate I'd have finished the novel before lunchtime.

The sound of Jonathan coming through the portal door forced me to look up and I waited full of apprehension until he came into view. I swallowed hard forcing the nuts down which scratched against the back of my throat.

"What have you done Jonathan?" I seethed, my anger boiling as I took in his altered appearances and the anger rose up inside my like a beast as I set the book on the counter.

"Sebastian. I go by Sebastian now, Millicent. I am Sebastian Verlac. Well at least I will be soon enough. Assuming another's identity has been quite interesting. In fact I am now Sebastian Morgenstern. Times are changing Millicent, do try and keep up" the demon remarked as if this was all to be expected.

"I will never speak that name" I hissed the word feeling dirty in my mouth.

"Sebastian is the name of the boy your murdered. Jonathan, Jonathan is the name of the man I'm trying to save" I cried looking over his black hair which made my stomach twist into knots. He remained dashing even with the darker hair but it made me want to gag. This was Jonathan, Jonathan the demon, Jonathan the murderer, this was Jonathan at his most evil.

"Get out of my sight!" I screeched gripping the counter. "You repulse me!".

"I own you" he countered stepping forwards.

"You're a monster!" I warned. "You've become a monster, and I want nothing to do with it. Any of this you have planned. We are done. This is over".

"You cant leave me Millicent I forbid it" he boomed with clenched fists and a shake to his voice as the anger pooled behind his eyes.

"Forbid me?" I wailed. "How dare you" I accused trying to step past him and bypass the room.

Jonathan snatched out gripping my waist and holding me in place.

"I own you. You wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for me. You'd have burned down in that house. You'd have been killed. You owe everything to me Millicent and therefore I own you" he assured.

"Get your hands of me now" I demanded my voice flat.

"No! You are coming with me to Alicante. We are going home Millicent. That is a order" he shouted pushing me back and I stumbled a little before righting myself.

"You are truly evil Jonathan" I sobbed my eyes stinging.

"Millicent, I couldn't give a dam" he laughed and it was I who turned my back away ending the argument with a finality.

* * *

Jonathan was in the training room. I could hear the thundering of weapons till late into the evening. He'd been at it hours.

I was still coming to terms with his words. With his accusation, his blatant disregard.

It was only a hours after are row I left the house. I was hoping it might make him think I'd truly left, but a part of me would be forever trapped with this family. That's why I couldn't leave.

Instead I went shopping. It took me a while to search out the shops which were aimed for ShadowHunters. The dark side of Paris.

Weapon shops were disguised behind a glamour and clothing was elaborate and spanned shop fronts with an enchanting lure about them.

I spent a good hour searching through the rails collecting the clothes I had grown up wearing. The flowing fabric of dresses, the weighty material of cloaks and the pointed heels I used to wear.

I purchased the items under the curious gaze of the shop owner but no questions were raised and I was glad for the silence. I feared myself unable to handle the pressure of conversation.

I was going back to Alicante and that in itself was something I never imagined possible.

My hands felt weighted with the shopping and as I hauled the bags up the stairs I avoided going to see Jonathan in the training room. Instead I went to pack. Fitting my most essential of possessions into a case and sealing my fate as I pulled the zipper round.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Imprisoned Wings Thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story!**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

I had come to my senses. Everything was being finalised and when finally a letter from Valentine came stipulating the leaving date I cracked under the pressure of it all.

I ran.

I ran from Jonathan. From Valentine. Away from my past, and what the future held.

He followed me all the way.

He dragged me back. Kicking, screaming, fighting every inch of the way.

He told me I couldn't leave him. That I was his.

I told him I could never give myself to a monster like him.

* * *

 _I could hear screams, painful shrieking screams and I jolted awake looking around for where the noise was coming from. My bedroom was filled with darkness and I coughed, my lungs filling with the thick smoke that was causing the restriction to my sight._

 _Coughing harder I felt my eyes watering as the painful cries continued to echo around the room. I fumbled for the lamp but I stopped when I heard my name. It was shrill and desperate. Animalistic._

 _I through the covers back and dropped from the bed beginning to wheeze from the lack of oxygen in the room._

 _With a crash the door caved in and the smoke became thicker and I cried out cowering beside my bed. I squashed myself against the mattress whimpering._

 _The warmth was intense and I knew what was happening, I could sense it but I was fixed to the stop trapped by fear, by sheer terror._

 _"Millie" Jonathan eased his taller frame stooping beside mine. Even at that age he was athletic and I ran my eyes over his bare torso etched with runes._

 _I searched his eyes from some sign of emotion but he looked blank._

 _"Millie we need to get out of here" he whispered reaching out to stroke the side of my face and it was all it took for me to launch myself at him._

 _Jonathan may have stole my first kiss but I took are second for myself._

 _I was high on adrenaline, emotions and a general recklessness when I knocked us both back down onto the carpet and pushed my younger body onto his. I kissed him with a desperation, and he kissed me back, his hands running over my cotton night gown forever marking me as his own._

I was panting as I clutched onto his bare arms that were trying to loop around my waist and roll us. Groaning as he deepened the kiss, forcing his tongue between my lips I fell down against the bed as he straddled me.I locked my legs around his hips rocking into him slighty which released an animal like cry from him and his hands dipped beneath my shirt. His warm fingers egged up past my stomach.

I remember the smoke then and I drew back a little pulling my mouth away from his trying to process what was happening.

We were burning. There was a demon. We were all going to die.

Jonathan was nuzzling at my face his nose brushing against me and it drew my focus. His expression was intense when I met his eyes, those dark orbs full of threat. I thought he was going to pull away from me, but before I could try and think of a way to prolonged the kiss he was back with his lips on my mouth kissing me with a hunger. I welcome his attention withering about beneath him, desperate for his touch. His mouth was hot and his lips softer than usual. He was taking his time with me as he tasted me with his tongue, devoting himself to me.

The fire though. I could feel it burning up the hallway and edging near to my quarters. I don't know how Jonathan had gotten in, but all I could think about were the tortures screams of those around us. We to were destined for the same fate.

I pushed at Jonathan, snatching my mouth away to claw at my throat as I bolted upright startling him.

"The demon, we need to go. Jonathan, the house is burning. The others we need to save them" I cried feeling the tears streaming down my face. Jonathan looked emotionless, frozen by some sort of fear. He looked ashen.

"Millie, Millie your not there. Look at me Millie. This is now, what your talking about … that was a long time ago. Your not there Millie, you're here with me" he insisted and I looked around confused.

I blinked the tears back a littler trying to focus on my surroundings. I was in Jonathan's room. In Jonathan's bed.

"We … were safe?" I whimpered looking desperately for the signs of a fire or the painful screams which haunted me.

He shook his head wordlessly and I blinked back at him.

"I … I must have been dreaming … I, well it felt so real. I was reliving that night. What happened to us …" I broke of shaking my head in distress.

"I woke up to you kissing me. You climb onto me, I thought you were …" he shook his head not finishing his sentence either and we both seemed as confused.

"I need to go" I insisted pulling down my t-shirt and blushing as I felt the love-bite on the inside of my neck.

"No" he pleaded snatching at my wrist as I tried to disembark from the bed. "Millie, if your having dreams like that I don't want you to be alone. You thought it was real, you woke up and you thought you were dying. I don't want you to ever have to think about that night" Jonathan warned but I pulled back against him.

"I want to be alone" I insisted snapping my wrist away from his hold.

It had felt real. I was reliving the burning of the house, the death of my Mother. I began to cry harder as I left his room and descended the stairs. I knew he followed me, he may have been silent but I could feel his presence with me.

I screamed at him. Smashed a vase and dark half a bottle of wine before I allowed him to carry me back to his bed were I slept dreamlessly well into the later afternoon.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you for everyone who continues to support this story, I would love to hear your thoughts so please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

My imprisonment was being kept from Valentine I sensed that much. From the letter that landed for the second time wishing me well following a bout of illness that prolonged are stay in Paris. But today was the day we left for Alicante.

I'd fought Jonathan with a violent passion from the moment he forced me back into the enchanted house and bound me inside. My limbs were weak from the fighting. My body was bruised, cut, broken. I rubbed my black eye with a absent focus on the room. Jonathan may have hurt me, but it had only been through his restraint of me. I however had marred his with any weapon I could turn my hand to. Often it had been his own.

I was devil like in my desire to escape. Rabid. It made me appreciate freedom so much more. For I was trapped, bound inside the walls of the property with a man I felt I no longer could love, or understand.

I'd lost my connection with Jonathan.

I sat on top of the case, my face like thunder as I tensed awaiting Jonathan's descent down the stairs. I'd packed his clothes to, folded them neatly into the space, trying to remain thorough in all my packing.

I don't know why I did it. Perhaps it made me feel normal. Made me feel like I was here to do my job rather than being held against my will.

Days had passed and we hadn't spoke.

Not since I'd stabbed him with his own blade. Then healed him, like the weak human being I was.

I wrote my notice for work, sighting unforeseeable circumstance for my need to leave and thanking them for their patience. I discharged myself from the medical professionals who'd been handling my case and set myself to work, on what would be the end.

I didn't look up as I heard him coming down the stairs. I could envisaged his elegance and it made my stomach twist into knots.

Jonathan was a terrible man. I reminded myself of it every time my thoughts strayed to him.

His breathing was gentle as he came to stand over me, I could feel the coolness his presence brought and the goosebumps that raised over me as it to spite me. He crouched until he was out my level and I stooped my head lower trying to avoid his gaze.

I forced my anger to rage inside of me, determined not to fall victim to his again. I would not be his prey.

"Millicent" he soothed not daring to reach out and touch me.

He saw me tense and that must have been enough. He understood the reactions he could provoke from me.

"I … Millicent, I wish it didn't have to be this way" he remarked pushing something into my lap. My hands rubbed against the velvet. It was black, as dark as his eyes and it ran like water through my fingers. I felt the lump in my throat grow bigger. I could not be brought.

I stood almost knocking him back with my brashness. I swept my hair over my shoulder and through the dark material over my shoulders, pulling up the hood of the cloak and giving him the sternest of glare until he looked away from me.

He didn't take my hand as we stepped through the portal, instead his hand pushed firmly at my back tipping me through it and it was as we passed through into another land that I thought against him as he tried to right me.

I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want him to look at me. So I struggled against his hands as my head spun and we fell through to the other side with a thud.

"Millicent?" He asked trying to pull me up but I jerked back from him my legs unwilling as I sat disheveled on the dusty terrain.

"Leave me" I snapped turning away from him and pulling the hood further up to try and conceal my pained expression. A tear fell and I whimpered a little trying to force myself control as the pain rippled through my body.

I was exhausted.

Jonathan bent down beside me his hands snaking around my back and under my legs easily lifting me up into his chest.

"Put me the hell down Jonathan!" I cried stubbornly punching at his chest as I twisted in his hold.

"Millie do shut up!" He boomed and I froze at the change of given name. He looked straight ahead refusing to meet my hot stare and I felt myself feeling queasy under the garments so I fell into an uneasy silence in his arms.

* * *

 **Authors Note: thank you** **Sparkplugs for the follow on the story!**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

History had a quite horrid way of repeating itself. I knew that now as I clutched on tightly to my case and stepped down the small set of steps which led from the carriage, a real rarity in this part of Idris. Coming back to the cottage had never been so difficult.

A large part of me wanted to tare up the ground as I bolted away heading in any direction which could possibly stall having to walk through that door.

Valentine had sent me away, I had left following the war and Jonathan had vanished from my life. But are lives had a way of tangling themselves and I was soon ensnared once more. I had a divided childhood. Half spent within these walls, half in the Manor House the other Jonathan resided in. I favoured the cottage, always.

I was always sure it was because it was where my Mother was. Now I can see I secretly delighted in the attention Jonathan through upon me. At first he hated me. Or so I believed. But perhaps it was all to test me, to test my strength, my worth. Jonathan showed me how cruel the world could be, he drove my power. He wanted me to be a powerful woman. He showed me how it was capable.

As we grew, and as we matured, are small age gap leading to a merge of hormonal desires we became ever more inseparable when allowed together. I followed Jonathan besotted almost with him. The other Jonathan from the manor gave me so such regard. But Jonathan, my Jonathan he made me feel special.

The way he would come to me in the night and I'd read to him in the candle light under the sheets. The way he taught me to fight, to ride a horse, to climb the highest of trees and to do the impossible for a mundane using a Steele. It was the stolen glances, the masked blushes and the scrawled notes.

Valentine fought against it.

Jonathan was marked young. Whipped brutally. Tortured by his own Farther.

He told me to love was to destroy. But I knew to love was to live.

I went to see the other Jonathan because Valentine requested it. And despite the moments of intense hatred I felt towards him, he was the closest thing I could hold to a Father.

Jonathan offered me his hand but I rejected it, looking up to the sharp incline I had once climbed chasing after him. The wind was sharp and full of Autumn as it struck the dip of the valley were the small cottage sat. It was as beautiful as I remembered, even if it had fallen into some disrepair.

Tears stung my eyes and I swatted them away quickly trying to keep my emotions in check.

"Millie?" Jonathan asked carefully and I set down the luggage unwilling to respond. The captivating sheen of his blonde hair had gone replace by the well combed blackness.

"Have you missed this place?" I asked gesturing towards the cottage. "I know you hardly form attachments" I added with a scornful tone.

"I have missed the memories we had here" he muttered jerking forwards seizing my bag and striding towards the cottage.

"Are you coming?" He quipped as he stalked towards the worn cottage and I could only nod limply willing my feet to move me after him. Jonathan seemed disgruntled by this place and I could only agree with the emotions it was rising up in me.

My legs felt like led but I moved with him, walking carefully towards are childhood home feeling the weight of history bearing firmly down upon me.

Jonathan entered first and moved to scout the house as if he expected some sort of danger, his firm look instructed me to remain in place but I disregarded any such instruction.

Instead I moved between the small kitchen that hosted a crooked table and looked towards the empty cupboards. Jonathan had brought supplies with us but even these wouldn't last long.

I reached into my pocket and popped out a pill from the foiled packaging swallowing it dry as I prepared to move further inside. I ignored what was down the cellar, having always been forbidden from entering and instead surfaced in the lounge.

With sore wrists I pulled of the sheets dropping them to the ground and looking at what was concealed beneath them. Nothing had changed. The oversized leather seats stared right back at me and the only thing that would require a deep clean seemed to be the fire place everything else seemed to have been pre-cleaned as if in preperance for are arrival.

 _It was a hot summers evening, like so many had been here. My skin felt like it was on fire and I was trying out some of the more Mundane clothes my Mother had gotten for me before she'd died. It would be the last few months I had left in this house, but I didn't know that then._

 _The heatwave was only worsened by the houses lack of shelter and the sun would always try to scorch my skin. Valentine was in the cellar, and not to be disturbed I was reminded by Jonathan when I went to ask about dinner._

 _I chewed at my lip as I sat on the floor my back pressed against the sofa a book lay open in my lap. Jonathan's eyes were on me, but this was far from unusual._

 _"Knock it off" I muttered closing the hardback and looking at him from across the room. He'd come in half an hour ago, slouched against the furthest wall and hadn't quit eyeballing me since._

 _Jonathan didn't smirk, didn't so much as twitch in response and I sighed in frustration at his blank demeanour. His hair was knotted into a short bun to keep in from his face and his shirt was open to reveal the planes of his marked chest. It made my mouth feel unpleasantly dry._

 _I rubbed at my eyes and tried to recount a particularly dull piece of Latin as a distraction but Jonathan kept staring and my hormones continued to egg me on._

 _"What are you wearing Millicent?" He demanded the words suddenly sharp coming from his mouth as he leant back against the wall his eyes darkened._

 _"Clothes" I snapped running my hands consciously over my bare thighs. The skirt was quite Mundane. It was a cream cotton and floated down loose to my mid-thigh without any of the netting most of my clothes held beneath._

 _"Not enough clothes for a Lady" he insulted._

 _I shifted position trying to contemplate a snide enough response._

 _Jonathan inhaled sharply his eyes widening a little and I gasped quickly closing my legs together tightly and covering my legs further with the dress._

 _"Pervert!" I screeched but not loudly enough to alert Valentine._

 _"I cant be a pervert if you enjoy it. It doesn't make you uncomfortable it excites you Millie" he reminded me and began stepping towards me. Closing the distance between us._

 _"Stop that!" I warned pushing my back up against the sofa._

 _"Stop what?" He laughed._

 _"Doing that, walking towards me all slow, like … like that, so seductively" I spat choking on my words like the flustered teenager I was. But Jonathan was standing in front of me and I was looking up to him waiting for him to make the next move in this dance._

 _But Jonathan just kept staring, and the more he stared the more it ticked me off._

 _"I'm not a … I am not a slut Jonathan. I don't care what you think. My mum brought me this skirt and just because your being inappropriate doesn't mean that I shouldn't wear it" I raged._

 _"Everything about you turns me on" he shrugged as if it was my fault and I frowned. "You can't wear stuff like that ... you make me, feral"._

 _"Kiss me?" He asked and I cowered back for a moment in the surprise that filled me. He'd never asked me to kiss him, he liked control, to take the lead with me._

 _The silence was earth shattering and I damned the birds for not even saving me with the odd chirp. Instead all that weighted the air between us was his request. I pushed myself begging to stand and he was helping me up before I could protest almost lifting me to my feet._

 _I stood with my legs close together to prevent my knees from clanking together as my body shook with the nerves._

 _Jonathan took a slow deep breath and I tensed in anticipation. My hands were restless by my side and the rash part of my mind pulled it self into action and suddenly my hands were resting on his bare chest and I was pressing my lips against his. He stood still allowing me to move my lips for a few seconds stretching over his mouth, the smell of his masculinity like a drug. My fingers edged over the hardened muscles and I was subconsciously pushing are bodies closer together._

 _It was as if Jonathan couldn't take it anymore. He growled and suddenly his hands came to cup my are beneath the skirt massaging the flesh and brushing against the partially expose skin in a way he'd never touched me before. I cried out opening my mouth to him and he pushed his tongue into me dominating my body._

 _I was climbing up him and I linked my legs around his core and he held me, slowly breaking the kiss. Every time I tried to take a breath he'd peck my lips again with another short kiss. My head was spinning and I was pulling his shirt from his back with a desperation when I felt us coming down to the armchair. I straddle Jonathan hips at op of the chair. Jonathan was kissing every part of my exposed skin and his hands were pushing the skirt up my hips and out of the way as he brushed my underwear line. I whimpered at the sensation grabbing his hands and pulling them up to grab my breasts which were only covered by a blouse. They felt warm and he buried his head in the crook of my neck as he rolled his fingers over them, groping the flesh._

 _"Jonathan" I groaned his name coming out like a prayer._

 _"Millie, I love you. Te amo. ani ohev otach. Je t'aime. I could tell you I love you in a hundred ways and it still wouldn't be enough" the young Jonathan assured and I pushed his hands down to my centre begging him to do more than just skim against the fabric of my underclothes._

 _He was pulled from me and I could hear him smack agains the wall with a crack of what must have been broken bones. He dropped like a sack of potatoes as Valentine stood over him and the minute he managed to stand he walked without a word to cellar because he knew his punishment, he accepted it, wanted it even?_

I scowled as I moved to the window and looked down at the chess set.

My bold boiled and I swiped out at it, kicking at the stand and cascading the hand carved figures in a moment of heated passion.

Valentine had taught me how to play chess here. Jonathan hadn't the patience to play with me, he always told me I was awful at it. My Mother had despised the game and the time we spent together.

I looked for a moment at the pieces and board which remained stubbornly intact and grunted in frustration before picking up the stand and placing it all neatly back as if it had never happened.

Clenching my fists I turned my back on the memory needing to escape for a moment from the house and all that came flooding back with it. Jonathan stood in the doorway blocking it with his much taller frame.

"Move Jonathan" I snapped.

"Jonathan I swear on all that is holy if you do not move from that doorway this instance then I will …"I began and his usual smirk mocked me but alas he let me pass.

I stomped across the creaking floorboard slammed the flimsy front door and ran out to the empty valley that surrounded us.

I screamed until my throat was raw and my tears had run out and all the time Jonathan watched me from the cottages threshold unquestioning.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hope you liked the chapter and the flashback halfway through! Please leave me any thoughts you have in a review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

My fury towards Jonathan was only continuing to grow. Fuelled by an intense dislike for Valentine for what he was allowing me to be dragged into. Surely he must know of my business here, my forced inprisonment and the torment that came with being around Jonathan.

I'd walked for miles and miles and ended up nowhere, but I had no choice other than to try and escape his presence at least. But even that didn't quite seem to work out. He always filled my mind. His handsome face, strong features and darkened hair haunting me.

I could never escape this.

Oh how I'd tried. But I knew as well as Jonathan did I'd likely die before I reached any sort of being that may be able to offer me safety. That's why he never followed me. He'd only come to find me once, when I'd been gone for hours.

I'd cut myself on the rockery and he'd been furious. His temper raged as he through insults about.

After that I'd become to weak to walk. I'd returned to the house, hardly moving from my room for days as I fought to avoid Jonathan.

The steam was collecting across the window and it was spreading over the mirrored wall of the only bathroom in the cottage. I switched off the tap with a flick of my hand and stared down at the foamy water that bobbed at the very edge of the roll-top bath.

My hands fumbled as I strained to remove the clothes. Pulling them off and stuffing them into the laundry basked. The smell of muscle relaxing ointments filled the small space and I couldn't wait to delve into the warm waters embrace.

My skin was beginning to tan from being outside in such intense heat and a olive tone had overcome my skin. I flexed my limbs rotating them to see the golden colour coming out, one of my redeeming features I decided. Most people suffered the cost of achieving a tone like this.

Mounting the tub was a challenge, and it took several strides before I could raise my leg high enough to mount the bath and sink into the warmth of the water.

The water drawing over my body brought back precious memories of me as a young girl, as she would bathe me with Jonathan. When we were both so young, and unburdened by life's plan. But it stopped after he tried to drown me.

That was perhaps one of the first inclinations that Jonathan was evil.

My eyes cautiously grazed over the bolted door, satisfied that it would at least hold Jonathan out for long enough that I'd be aware of his attempted entrance.

I sank lower, moving slowly so the foam of the bath tickled at my hair and the water splashed over the sides a little.

I sank down lower, moving to lie beneath the water.

* * *

My eyes flew open and I lurched up my limbs jerked wildly. A bout of water was struggling to be free'd from my airways. I couldn't breath. My mind was unclear. All I could process was Jonathan's cold lips pressing again onto my mouth, forcing breath into my lungs.

I pushed at his chest coughing and spluttering until the haze cleared and my eyes opened wide in surprise.

"My, my Millicent, how you have changed since the last time we met like this" he purred seductively.

I felt his hands holding me upright and my bare breasts squashed against his chest, his shirt pasty from water. Jonathan straddled me his knee's resting at the bottom of the tub and my legs fanned out beneath him.

"Jonathan …" I began my breath hitched trying to steady my aching chest as I processed the bizarre situation.

"Now, now Millicent, what have you been up to … Sleeping pills and water don't usually mix" he grunted as he lifted my body up further so my back pressed against the tub.

A silence sat between us and I tried to keep still, for every time I moved my breast brushed against his chest and my nipples grew harder. I could feel his desire pushing against my hip through his jeans and my mind was being quite irrational.

Jonathan moved his hands forward and with a glance for permission he brushed his hands across my breast and I sighed aloud for a moment.

His lips kissed against my neck, hot and sticky with every sweet kiss as his body forced itself closer against me. But I was moving back. Shoving at his chest.

I shook my head wordlessly. Ashamed by the emotions he was rising up within me. This was the boy who stole my first kiss. I would not let him steal my virginity as well.

I tried to pull myself from the bath but I slipped catching my head against the tub and crying out. But Jonathan's body was pulling me up, he cradled me in his arms forcing are bodies together and I sobbed into him pulling at his clothes and I battled my emotions.

"I miss her. I miss her, so, so much!" I cried bringing to shove at his chest but he held me firm. "It's not fair. You should have let me die. Why couldn't you just let me die?" I wailed.

His hands slackened for a moment and his face darkened as he shook me as if trying to snap me back to my senses.

"Don't you ever say that" he seethed. "Don't you ever question why I saved you. Don't you ever wish it otherwise" he roared his hands tightening so his fingers were almost bruising.

"You should have let her live. Saved me all this, pain this torment, this misery. She was better than me. A better woman, a better person. My Mother would have done this all better" I choked.

"You could never fail me Millicent" he corrected his eyes straining to meet my own red swollen ones. But I looked away staring at the tiles behind his head unable to see the emotions which he was so willing to show.

Jonathan moved to stand, easily lifting my body with him and the water splashed about in resistance. I involuntary shivered as he stepped over the tups top and planted himself securely on the floor. Bending to reach my towel he through it over my body and toed the door open. I wondered how the personal boundaries, and body consciousness had blurred into none existence between us. I sat in silence as he carried me across to his bedroom unceremoniously dumping me on the mattress where I bobbed for several seconds.

I fixed my eyes on the floor when I realised he was undressing. I couldn't bare to watch it.

Instead I patted the towel over my limbs trying to warm my body while the tears continued to slope over my cheek bones. The thick woollen blanket sat at the end of the bed and I pulled it towards me inhaling the musty smell of Jonathan from it before pulling it around my body covering myself completely.

No sooner had I righted myself he was moving me again and I felt helpless to reject his courteous gesture. I doubted I could walk if I wanted to. Instead I sat wordlessly in his arms, still as he carried me carefully down the staircase and down to the fire that was burning away in the late evening that had fallen across the valley.

He squeezed into the armchair setting his legs up against the footrest and I shifted for a moment trying to find a less compromising position on top of him. I turned my head into his chest which was bare breathing in his body's odour as the material of his sweat pants rubbed against the blanket.

We sat in a audible silence which seemed to stretch right from the room and out into the valley beyond.

Jonathan moved slightly and I could hear the rustling of pages and he cleared his throat for a second. Something rested above my head and he began to read, it took me a few seconds to place the words to the book I'd brought with me.

"The bolt shot back. I was up the steps and in the dock, standing before the bench …" Jonathan read on his chest rising and falling. His voice was lacking in any accent, but was crisp and clear with each word.

He broke off for a moment setting the book down into my lap dog-earring the page.

"This is a terrible book" he snapped frustrated.

"It's my favourite. I read it when I was far to young. It's an adults book. It's about love, and loss and death and hanging. I cried for hours when I got to the end. It stuck with me. Haunted me for days. I cant bear to part with it. I love Margaret and her the troublesome Will. He reminds me of you a bit"I decided reaching out to ruffle his dark hair.

"Devishily handsome?" He mocked.

"Devishly something" I sighed curling his hair around my finger. He bent he head obligingly and I twisted the lock round and round my finger in a self-soothing motion.

Jonathan held me still suddenly and I dared not move as his finger drew a small trail down my bare back slipping beneath the blanket. He was whispering things I couldn't hear over my pounding heart but his lips settled to the side of my neck and he spoke directly to me. His words clear and audacious.

"What did Valentine buy you for your Birthday?" He demanded and I tensed feeling his hands reaching around to my front to hold me closer.

"Valentine … he brought me a gramophone. And then he brought me records. Mundane music. I danced to it every night. You tried to break it once when we argued. Do you remember? You tried to smash it but Valentine walked in and through you back. You argued about it. He said it kept me mundane and you said that wasn't a good thing" I recalled my voice uneven as I sat pressed against him.

"Father, he taught me there's a place on a man's back where, if you sink a blade in, you can pierce his heart and sever his spine, all at once" he reminisced pushing his index finger against the spot forcing me to flinch.

"You know the hole depraved childhood thing can really turn people on" I mocked and he looked aghast for a moment before recovering himself.

"And what might turn you on Millicent?" He questioned swiping back a magnificent defence and I blushed and shrivelled back into myself.

His lips tickled against my neck and suddenly he was kissing there, moving up behind my ear, licking and nipping and groaning as he did it. He moved to my lobe pulling it into his mouth and dragging it through his teeth.

"Perhaps that pleases you?" He asked and I remained speechless as I clamped my legs together praying he couldn't feel the heat between my thighs as I sat upon him covered only in a blanket.

He chucked mockingly and and I moved from his lap not giving him a second glance as I retreated to my room away from his ministrations.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hope you liked the update, I really enjoyed writing the intimacy and natural banter between these two characters in these scenes.**

 **Ravenclaw 07 thank you for the follow on the story!**

 **Will Cole thank you for the follow on the story!**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

Jonathan had been back and forth from the cottage and I knew something was taking place. He was training harder than ever before, and even my occasional glance in on him would startle him enough to find myself pined against the wall.

His violence escalated to the point where I found myself unable to be around him and he spoke in riddles about a Mortal War. Of Demon Towers and a girl named Clarissa. I didn't understand any of it. I feared this side of him that was trying to break through.

I called out to him, trying to beckon him for dinner. But part of me was uncertain of if he was even at home.

He didn't come through so I sat down at the crooked table on the wobbly chair and began to eat my meal in silence forking through the salad with a dull appetite.

Jonathan appeared suddenly in the doorway his eyes glowering and his face tight.

My mouth felt dry and Jonathan moved closer, a dark stare coming from his sharp eyes which made me flush.

"You've been out a while" I noted plopping a tomato into my mouth and biting down as it exploded within my mouth.

He shrugged as if that was enough to answer my question and moved to wash his hands at the sink his hunting gear taunt across his back.

"You seem angry" I suggested pushing my plate away giving up on the forced eating.

"What would you know Millicent?" He snapped.

"Of you. Not much, but enough none the less" I muttered the words full of nonsense.

"Are you mad. Mad I brought you back here? Do you hate it, hate me for doing it to you?"he demanded as he turned to face me.

"Your forced me to follow you to Idris Jonathan. How could I ever enjoy being here when it was never my wish to come back?" I questioned.

"So you miss the apartment?" He further demanded.

"Do I … Jonathan what sort of integration is this?" I questioned hotly pushing my hair back from my face.

"You need to leave. Here. The Valley you need to get away. Soon the War will be upon us. And Millicent, my dear Millicent, I was wrong to bring you here" he decided and I was stumped.

"Jonathan your talking in riddles!" I cried angrily. "I know your in pain. I know you … I know you've been burning since the day your were born" I whispered my voice softening as I came to step towards him and slowly reached out to stroke his face. He froze uncertain of the gesture but allowed my palm to run against his skin. "Demons blood burns Shadowhunters … Jonathan, this pain you feel, this … whatever it is going on inside of you, that torment can not win out" I pleaded.

Jonathan was silent his dark eyes trying to stare me down but I didn't back off.

"Explain it … all of it, tell be about Valentine's Plan's, about why you had to kill Sebastian and who on earth this Clary girl is!" I demanded crossing my arms and frowning.

And to my surprise, he did.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Mikayla elwood thank you very much for you support! I really appreciate you following and favouriting my account and the story! Can I also note how grateful I am for your multiple reviews, it was so lovely to hear your thoughts on the story.**

 **In reply,**

 **I'm glad you are enjoying the story, yes I agree with your point around the mystery of Jace and Jonathan when they were growing up. Millicent seemed to slot in so easily with the softy line and it has allowed me to get a little creative with the gaps!**

 **Clary will be entering into the story like she does when Jace is turned my Sebastian/Jonathan and Clary agrees to go with them. So Clary will slip into the story there a bit like the original works.**

 **Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me those reviews I am very grateful, have a great time reading this short update and I will update as soon as I can!**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

Jonathan had left shortly after telling me the truth. I'd screamed at him, cursed him out, I called him out for being the demon I knew he was. He'd disappointed me, horrified me even. Nothing could prepare me for the evil that seemed to course through him now.

But then, after it all he'd had the audacity to ask me to run away with him. To leave this place, these plans all behind.

I'd been cruel. I had laughed in his face and told him I could never be with a monster like him.

The black cloak bled into the night and I was running like I'd never ran before.

Jonathan had left me his anger bubbling over as he struck out against the furnishings resisting striking out at my body. Part of me wanted him to hit me, it might have made me feel alive. I just felt numb as I surveyed him upturning furniture like a wild animal.

My escape paused momentarily and I skidded to an ungraceful stop at the sound of voices nearing. The voice wasn't that of Jonathan but it resonated something in me none the less and it held me painfully still as the memories rolled over me in waves.

I was running to goodness knows where and God only knows who. Perhaps I could get to the city, warn those people about what loomed ahead, what was already happening. But a stronger part of my mind was insisting I escaped the bigger danger here, and that was Jonathan.

I pushed the hood back trying to see further straining my eyes as my breathing hitched.

This was bad, very bad.

I could hear him. The other Jonathan his voice was smooth with a cheeky tone to it, just like I'd remembered. I clutched my side feeling as if someone had just stabbed me.

The memories flooded over my body and I whimpered in the agony of it.

My head raced with thoughts. I needed to move but my legs were cemented to the uneven terrain.

Then came my Jonathan, I knew it immediately from the strength of his hands, one laced around my hip pulling me into him and the other rounded over my mouth. I instantly began my struggle with him, nipping at his hand and trying to kick at him. This seemed to provoke him and he held me tighter growling lowly into my ear.

He held me still until I finally stopped struggling.

"Is he as you remembered Millicent, your dear Jace?" He questioned and I could hear the jealousy lacing his words.

"He's grew more handsome" I mocked to spite him and he dropped his arms pushing me away from him like I was something to fear. Jonathan turned away from me for a moment his hands knotted behind his back and I realised I'd drawn blood. It trickled down his fingers and he seemed unaware.

"You need to leave. I'm going to meet Valentine. You cant be here. Not anymore" he decided his back firmly remaining away from mine.

"How do you suggest I do that, I've been running for hours. I'm tiered of your games Jonathan, you've followed me haven't you!" I accused my mind reeling, and the possibility of escaping seeming distant.

"Go. I will find you. I will come back to you Millicent" he demanded his words an assurance of much consequence.

I fall still for a moment uncertain that I ever could truly leave. Despite the evil that raged in him I knew I couldn't go. I had to stay with him. My Jonathan. I could solve this. Make this better. I could convince him to abandon this fight. I could go back on what I'd said. We could run away together, leave all this behind.

"Millie. Leave" he commanded keeping his face hidden from me and for some reason I obey.

* * *

I felt it. When they died. I sensed it when they were both torn from this world.

I was alone. Truly alone, and despair was soaking into me like a dead weight.

Grief filled me as I forced myself through the portal that had opened. A connection of Valentines helped me to escape Alicante and I made my way to Paris.

* * *

 **Authors Note: A short chapter, but the next one will be a lot more juicy as we have Jonathan's reserecution my Lilith and Jace's connection as they both coming crashing back into Millie's life quite unexpectedly.**

 **Mikayla eldwood thank you for the review! I understand how the beginning of the story which was the preface could be a little confusing as it was an introductory which didnt lead directly on to the first chapter. I really wanted to start with that piece of them as children to then give a feel for how Millicent had come into the life she was when the story moved to present day in chapter one.**

 **How exciting, I look forward to reading it. Like the name! Thanks again for the review.**


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

I turned to the right and then to the left scrutinising the dress I was wearing with a sudden dislike. I'd found it in the back of a cupboard. One I hadn't ever worn. It was something confident people wear. I didn't feel very confident.

I'd fallen into the gentle pace of Paris. Turning my hand to the work of a local seamstress shop I altered Wedding Dresses for brides to be.

I met Clara there, and she'd listened to my story. Or to the mundane version of events which was filled with half-truths.

Keeping a toe dipped into the ShadowHunter, Downworlder scene was easy at first. I kept up with the known associates, tried to keep track of Valentines business. But it all fell apart quickly and I was left feeling empty and cut off from a life I had once claimed right to.

Now all I did was walk around a big empty house, whose rooms remained vacant and unused since the last time I was here with Jonathan.

Grief was a painful process, one that I seemed to be involved in far to much.

I was grieving for my family, and for a love I could never have.

That's why Clara suggested a date.

I fumbled for another minuted pulling up the hosiery and the underwear, and then reaching for the black material that reminded me of someone I couldn't bare to quite forget. I slid it on over my head shaking a little until it fell into place.

The neck line plunged low and I was glad of my gifted breast size which held in place to fill out the dress appropriately.

Valentine's apartment hadn't changed when I found it. It hadn't even be entered since the last time. I couldn't bear to leave it, not to mention I had nowhere else to go.

I reached behind me straining to pull up the zipper of the dress.

My mind seemed to process it all at once.

The cool fingers sliding up my back dipping inside the open dress. The sounding of the door alerting me to my dates arrival. And the two figures which had entered my bedroom.

I held still as the long fingers dared forwards, coming to brush against the curve of my breast.

Closing my eyes I allowed myself to be lost in his sweet caress.

"Your supposed to be dead" I spat keeping my body in place as his hand faltered pausing for a moment.

"Surprise" he mocked and I span around taking him by surprising as I swung for him with a strong right hook that landed square on his jaw line and reached for a stiletto which I wielded like a blade.

Jonathan recoiled swiftly spitting blood out on my floor he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before passing me a delicious smirk.

"Miss me Dear?" He questioned and I through the shoe at him launching my body with it and together we stumbled back into the bed. He let us fall rolling so he was on top of me and clamping down his hold on my wrists.

"Your dead!" I reminded myself and he laughed again.

"I thought we'd gotten past this" he sighed looking down at me with his dark eyes full of want.

"You should have stayed that way" I hissed trying to knee him in the chest but he pinned my knees with his leg sniggering at how easy it was to overpower me.

I struggled underneath him trying to loosen his grasp on me but he was unwavering.

"I came back for you Millicent. For what is mine. My Mother made it possible. She brought me back to you. Can't you see it, this is meant to be?"

I stared back at him questionably. I didn't what to discuss Lilith with him, nor did I want to recognise what his resurrection into a human form might bring.

"Get off me" I grunted moving underneath him again. "Jonathan your hurting me" I muttered and he loosened his grip allowing me to push him from me. I pulled the dress back up over myself trying to protect my modesty.

I looked for the other presence I'd sensed and my eyes fell on the other Jonathan. Jace, they called him Jace.

"What is this?" I hissed looking from him to Jonathan.

"Millicent. Pleased to make you acquaintance again. Jonathan talks but nothing of you" he smirked handsomely and I stared blankly like a fish out of water.

"I cannot be dealing with this right now. Get out. Both of you leave, now!" I demanded my mind reeling.

Jonathan only stretched out on my bed kicking of his shoes and looking far to at home between my sheets.

"I have a date. Get. Out" I hissed pushing him off the bed with a grunt of frustration.

"Cancel it" he shrugged flippantly.

"I will do no such thing!" I huffed exasperated. "Get out of my house …" I cried in frustration cutting off as I realised I held no such claim.

"I like what you've done with your hair. It's very … modern" he confirmed looking over my hair with a intensity.

He was right it was modern. I had the alopecia under control. I'd left the wigs and embraced my own hair as it filled out into a full head and began to dance past my jaw.

I growled at him in frustration and launched myself towards him again. I smacked at his chest, but rolled off him straight away having winded myself I lay back on the floor trying to steady my breaths.

The door sounded again and I darted up eager to reach it. Jonathan seemed to have already anticipated my move and snatched at my waist looking towards Jace.

"Jace I swear if you go near that door I will personally cut you up and put you in a stew!" I screeched and Jonathan laughed so hard he released me.

I frowned at them both, snatched up my heels forcing my feet into them without making eye contact. I flattened down my hair and moved to Jace wordlessly gesturing toward him to do the zipper of the dress.

He looked at Jonathan for permission before abiding and I flew from the room without another word slamming doors dramatically as I went. I was a hurricane.

* * *

My date was tiringly … mundane. But despite it I was quite certain I must prevail. I could only be twenty-something virgin for so long. It was becoming quite unpleasant having to justify my solace to colleagues and friends.

We'd talked about him mainly. Well all we'd discussed was him. His work, his mundane life, his plans for the future. It was all rather dull. He filled conversation and I was expected to nod in all the right place while he handled the bill.

Jonathan respected me, he kindred the fire within me. He kept me wild, accepted it.

I thought but nothing off him as I climbed the steps into the apartment and moved into the kitchen my heels clicking across the floor. I stumbled a little from to much wine but recovered myself quickly.

My throat felt dry and I poured myself a glass of water gulping it to quickly and rinsing it out setting it to drain. I moved from the kitchen and towards the stairs ready to put an end to the madness of the evening.

Jonathan intercepted me as I went to move too the first step, gliding in front of me so are bodies clashed together and his hand muffled my yelp.

He motioned behind him where Jace was lay out on the sofa, eyes shut and a light snore radiating from him.

I scowled and tried to bypass him but he moved with me.

"I've missed you Millicent" he drooled.

"Get. Out" I hissed trying to keep my voice down out of politeness.

"No" he laughed.

"I swear to you Jonathan. Either you leave or I do!" I cried throwing my hands up abashed with the situation.

"You have a day to chose … we are done. Over. Finished. Complete. We ended back in the War. You told me things. Things I cant even begin to comprehend and I am quite certain you hold no feelings for me" I grunted shoving past him despite his restraint.

I clambered up the stairs falling into the balustrade saving myself from tumbling back down the stairs. I shook my head trying to free the alcohol from my mind. I dragged myself up focusing on each step and kicked of the retched heels when I reached the top with a huff of frustration.

Stamping like a heard of small elephants I moved around my room and the ensuite fuming at the return of Jonathan and what it meant with Jace returning with him. A small part of me rejoiced but the logical, human side of it shoved it back into it's dark little box. Alliances couldn't have change that much.

My hands fumbled to reach the zipper of the ridiculous dress which had hardly been acknowledge by my date and I wondered what the point of spilling my cleavage from a piece of material had really been for.

I moved around failing about as I tried different angles. I looked for a pair of scissors ready to cut the dress from me but came up empty handed. I considered lifting it up over my head but it caught over my breasts and wouldn't give causing me to shriek in frustration.

Shaking until the dress fell back down into place I stormed out onto the landing fists clenched and walked head first into Jonathan who stumbled momentarily before catching us both and remaining upright.

I felt a rush of blood to my head as I processed he was blonde once more and the delicious feeling that surfaced just from looking at him.

"Can you …" I whispered ashamed as I turned away from him.

He stroked his hand over my hair, down my back and up to the zipper easing it down slowly. I hissed as he kissed each piece of new skin was revealed his mouth searing against my skin. My eyes widened at the sensation and the moment the zip reached the bottom I ran from him and closed the door firmly behind me.

* * *

 **Authors Note: As always please review!**

 **Thank you for another review Mikayla elwood I really appreciate that you think that! I hope this chapter kept things interesting. Aw it is hard trying to hammer things out with a story but I'm sure it will come to you!**

 **Natasja940 and Rose0508 thank you very much for favourting the story!**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

I looked over opening my eyes slowly and took in Jonathan. He looked anything but comfortable as his limbs stretched out along the floor and his back was propped up against my door. He caught my eyes for a moment and I shut mine firmly burying my head down into the pillow.

Now was certainly not the time to hold the conversation he desired.

Yet he was shifting about on the floor board and it took him a minute before he flopped down beside me. I resisted as he pulled back the sheet trying to cling to them but soon the light of the morning filled the room and I was forced to meet his face.

"How are you, Millie?" He asked stroking my face his hands raising goosebumps. It plunged me back into deep memories and my eyes fluttered closed as I dwelled on them.

"I miss Valentine. I missed you, a lot. I had to start all over again. I had to find something to live for. I never imagine you'd come back, never thought it to be possible" I admitted into his dark eyes staring up at him.

"I grieved for you Jonathan. I … this doesn't feel real. You know that right? Part of me wants to crush you in a embrace, but the other part of me wants to slap you silly. Your screwing up my life, again" I accused hotly blushing a little as I caught his eyes racking over my chest which was exposed by the gapping shirt.

"I've come to reclaim what's mine" he asserted pressing his body on top of mine but I turned my face away from his scowling and repulsed. This wasn't Jonathan. This wasn't what I wanted. What I had come to desire.

"I'm not a toy Jonathan" I snapped. "This is why it can never work between us. We are to different. Are principles, ideologies" I sighed in frustration trying to wriggle out from underneath him.

"This is my home … but it's also yours" he asserted. "It's big enough for us both to coexist, separately if we must. But I will not be leaving and neither shall you be" he decided. "Do you understand Millicent, no running away, no more childish games".

I thought against his hold until he released me and I stalked away from him to make breakfast distancing myself from him for the rest of the day.

I was a jumble of indecision.

I should pack my bag and run, run for my life. But I was a rabbit caught in the headlights. And I wasn't running anywhere.

* * *

"Millicent!" Jonathan beckoned and I jolted in surprise, my head buried deep within the airing cupboard banged against the shelf.

"Millicent, the door!" He affirmed his voice climbing in pitch.

"Coming" I muttered not loud enough for him to hear as I rubbed at my pulsing head. I abandoned the sheets that I had set aside for preparing a room for Jace and instead went to attend to his screeching.

"Millicent!" He shouted again, this time moving onto the stairs as a warning. I stepped past the pile of towels and sheets and moved towards the stairs. I didn't look up to meet him as I began to descend taking two at a time as I hurried to greet the guests.

"Would it really trouble you to answer the door Jonathan, seriously?" I huffed as I passed him.

"It would be no trouble at all Millicent, if I was paid for it" he shot back reminding me of my mundane duties to the household.

I looked around for the keys to the door which would also be heavily charmed it was the same door used to portal in and out, but this guest had access to no such magic. This guest was quite Mundane.

The keys were chucked into a vase and having fished them from the bottom I began fiddling with multiple sets of locks.

"Jonathan, I need your stele please!" I called as I tired to force a key into a hole it seemed too large for.

My body lurched as Jonathan made his presence behind me known by setting a hand on my hip, and the key was forced into the opening. I breathed on edge as he reached around me to trace a single rune upon the door.

"Thanks" I mumbled as the redness began to flood my skin. "You should wait in the kitchen, or upstairs. Until she's gone. I don't want you to scare her" I added softly trying to be diplomatic.

"Wow, okay Millicent. Did you just tell me to piss off?" Jonathan sneered grabbing at my arm. "You may be the Lady of the House, but I remain the Master" he warned.

"I asked you to give me five minutes to myself Jonathan, there is a clear difference in those two sentences" I countered angrily.

"I think, I'll stay right here" he decided and I glanced over my shoulder to watch him walk towards the book case.

"Fine" I fired.

"Fine" he copied smirking.

"Fine!" I shouted flustered as my hands jerked the door open and Jonathan fell suddenly silent.

"Millie-Moo" Lila squealed in delight launching herself into my arms and I caught the three-year old stumbling back under her growing weight.

"Lila put Millie down!" He Mother, Clara quipped but her daughter continued to ignore her.

I gave Lila a reassuring squeeze before setting her down to her normal height.

"Hi Lila-Lisa" I teased and she smiled happily.

"Mummy said we are staying, does that mean we can see your room, the one with a big bed for jumping on?" She asked and I nodded in agreement.

"It's the best bed in the world" I agreed feeling that perhaps I preferred Jonathan's but I shoved that from my mind. I took in her siblings, Jake was six and stood beside him Mum hitting eagerly at a hand held computer-device. But it was easily Suzzie who stood out her hair cropped painfully short and dyed as dark as mine, she was thirteen going on thirty.

"Millicent, I need a word" Jonathan's voice broke my calmness and I turned towards him, my eyes hostile.

"I'm busy, Jonathan" I scoffed.

"It's fine Millie, honestly, I'll just dump the kids stuff" Clara assured and I wanted to shout at her for being so compliant with the handsome man. Jonathan flashed her a devilish grin which had her swooning and I wanted to slap the stupid right out of her, and then that look off his face.

I stormed past him and into their kitchen. He followed behind me, slower than necessary.

"Don't you dare look at her like that!" I screeched lunging forward with an accusing finger.

"Like what Millicent?" He smirked, basking in the moment.

"Back off Jonathan" I snarled as he caught ahold of my wrists preventing me from coming any closer and putting him back in control.

"Jealous?" He laughed and the stabbing pain in my chest told me all I needed to know.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

"Who are these people Millicent, have you finally lost it?" He demanded pushing me away for him his hands rough.

"Clara is my new friend. I babysit for her. Her children are staying over tonight" I hissed.

"No Millicent, they are not!" He protested.

"Jonathan they are staying and that is the end of it!" I seethed stamping my foot in protest as I double back on him. "You aren't even supposed to be here! I have a life, a real life outside of you. I have my own responsibilities, friends desires. You, you are supposed to be dead!" I cried. "I used to plan my life around you Jonathan. But things have changed" I shrieked.

"Get rid of them Millicent, now" he commanded.

I looked up at him my mind certain and full of determination.

"Fuck, off" I stated calmly, turned my back to him and proceeded out of the kitchen.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **A quick update, please leave me a review!**

 **Yes I agree, as the story progresses the story line will get more tense and the relationship between the pair will continue to be challenged! Yes it will play out with Clary coming to stay with Jonathan for the sake of trying to save Jace, like it does in the books. Although Millie may meet her a little before then! Thank you for a lovely review Mikayla elwood and for favouriting my page!**

 **Guest, thanks for a awesome review!**

 **ShiannetheFangirlofEverything thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story!**


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

Jace was watching me intently and I seemed to be constantly shadowed by either his or Jonathan's presence something I was growing less and less satisfied with. Jonathan had flounced from the house in his usual dramatics and I was left to try and explain things to Jace which was tiresome.

He seemed initially surprised by the coarse language, tension and screaming that ate up most interactions between me and Jonathan. I reminded myself are relationship was far conventional. People didn't tend to go from scream in each other's faces to wanting to jump one another.

I tried to avoid looking at Jace busying myself as every time time we did make eye contact he reminded me of Jonathan.

"Sebastian thinks you hate me" he stated more than asked as I shook out the sheets ready to fit them to the mattress.

"Sorry I haven't had the chance to dust down yet. I've cleaned the bathroom ready, I'll try and flick over the surfaces tomorrow" I shrugged clambering onto the mattress on my hands and knees as I fumbled with the fitted sheet.

"Do you hate me … Millie?" He questioned I puffed the hair from my eyes turning to look back at him.

"I fear Jonathan's confused you. Jonathan I hate, you I can tolerate" I shrugged moving to the bottom of the bed and pulling the sheet taught.

"You remind me of someone" he appeased.

"Don't know who" I snapped and he seemed uncertain of me, wary.

Jace was the sort of guy who girls flocked to, I suspected my abstinence from anything of that nature was unnerving.

I moved for the pillow slips ducking down and clasping them up.

"I don't know why you're here. Or if you are really here for Jonathan. He told me, everything. I don't want to know anymore, not about whatever the two of you have planned. My heart cant bare it anymore. I'm to fragile for it all.

But he seem's different. He … he has never had a friend before. He's had me, I've done what I can. I was more of a sparring partner and someone to appease him. But he seems found of you" I shrugged shaking the pillow down into the case and accepting another case from Jace.

"It must be my dashing personality and wit" he mocked and I blushed a little. "Has he ever … with you?" He continued and I dropped the second pillow mid-shake.

"Excuse me!" I blushed furiously.

"I didn't think so" he smirked looking over me with eyes that seemed to linger on my most womanly parts.

"Sebastian takes what he wants. What he wants he gets. He rips it away. He wants you, that's pretty obvious. You, your body, your affection, approval, love. But he refuses to take it from you. Sebastian …" Jace tried to explain but I waved my hand around dismissively.

"Jonathan" I corrected hating the name which he was assumed. "Jonathan, and my body are two very different matters. When it comes to my body …" I began but it was my turn to be interrupted as the man of my words came to lean brashly in the doorway his hair damp from the rain.

"I have seen more, touched more and worship more than any man has ever been able to" he finished and I narrowed my eyes at his quick words. Jace was smirking at him and I didn't know who I wanted to slap first.

I launched the pillow at Jace's head snarling at his betrayal and flounced towards Jonathan who stood by allowing me to pass.

The pair began speaking, their words were climbing in noise and all of a sudden I heard footsteps pursuing me.

"Millie" Jonathan called after me.

"Don't you dare Millie me. You've had your fun. What do you know about my body and whose been around it. Lots have changed Jonathan, lots!" I lied thinking the only thing that had changed since he'd been away was that my French friends had introduced me to waxing. Not that any man had been invited to see that.

Jonathan was right. My body remained an sealed fortress. One's whose walls only he had briefly scaled.

His eyes turned to slits and as I walked he was pursing me, his eyes burning over my body.

"You can't just say something like that … and then just, just walk away!" He seethed easily coming to stride beside me as I moved towards my room.

"It's none of your business. Who I have or have not shared my body with. Whether I a virgin or a well rode woman holds no bearing on you. My body is mine at the moment Jonathan and mine alone" until you decide to make it otherwise I failed to add.

He turned away from me his fist clenched and I turned to see him storm down the stairs and it was not long before I could feel the floor shaking from the erratic pounding of weapons striking as Jonathan took his frustration, jealousy and fear out on the training room.

* * *

I sat with my back against the wall as I watched Lila splashing about delighted by the bubbles I'd poured for her in the bath.

Lila chattered endlessly about her siblings who were sprawled out, bribed with pizza down stairs getting ready for a night in the lounge.

Using a jug I washed her hair for her, and the splashing she made seemed to drench me more than her.

Pulling the plug and bundling her into a towel. We both changed into pyjamas and dived under the sheets. I read aloud to her until one of us fell asleep, I couldn't remember whom.

I slept to the rhythmic sound of fighting blades striking against a target coming from downstairs.

* * *

I felt cold, I shivered in my sleep rapping my arms around my self I curled inwards. Death was flashing over my eyes. I twisted in my dream rolling around as I clutched at the sheets. Valentine's face filled my mind. His body cold, limp, lifeless.

I screamed.

Wailing.

Crying as I fisted the bed clothes.

I rolled trying to turn away from the nightmare, to slide back beneath the blankets but I was in free-fall. I screamed louder as my body hit the floor and I was winded the breath knocked from me.

I squashed my eyes trying to soften my painful sobs as I lay on the floor trying to build up the strength to move.

Suddenly I heard footfall and I strained to see through the dark. Lila's girlish chatter filled the room and I heard her being lifted up on the bed and she fell silent. The feet moved to me and the body squatted down.

I felt the cool fingers of Jonathan loop around me, sliding under my body and pulling me into him. Hoisting me up he moved with me onto the bed. My head was brushing across his toned chest and I clutched my fingers onto his chest hair, rubbing my palms over his masculine frame. I breathed him in, he smelt fresh from the shower his hair damp to the touch.

The more I moved into him the tighter he held me. The sheet was pulled back over us covering are entwined bodies as we embraced wordlessly.

His hands were soothing, one held me to him while the other explored moving up and down my back before coming to rest clutch over my arse.

I sucked gently at his chest, alternating between licks and kisses as I tried to familiarise myself with him, with my new Jonathan who had come back to me.

"You had a bad dream, a nightmare" he proposed coming to stroke my hair.

"It was about Valentine" I mumbled and his chest rumbled in a low growl.

"To love is to destroy" he reminded and I bit down a little harder on his chest and her sniggered his fingers moving to rub at my lips and I gently kissed the tips of them.

"To love is to live. And I have never lived more boldly than when I have loved you Jonathan" I whispered.

I could feel the intensity of his stare even through the darkness and suddenly I was on my back and Jonathan's body was pressing down into me. He hovered over me.

"I Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern, love you Millicent …, to love may be to destroy, but you Millicent and you alone have taught me what love is. I love you so, that I would destroy the world for you Millicent. What my Father meant was love makes everything irrelevant. You are my world" he assured.

I reached up cupping his face and running my fingers through his hair.

"And how I love you" I reminded allowing Jonathan to roll us, so I was pulled back over his sculptured chest and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I stirred slowly, my head rising and falling with Jonathan's chest as he warmed his hands on my back.

"Good morning Millie" he soothed and that word, that name meant so much. It meant more than being called pretty, or beautiful, because Jonathan saw using that name as a sign of his own weakness.

"Sorry I woke you, in the night, with my screams".

"You didn't not at first. I couldn't hear you. I was in the shower. I just got out, when this little girl, she padded into my room she took my hand told me you were upset. I followed her out onto the landing Jace was about to go into your room, he told me you'd fallen out of bed, I went in. Put Lila back to bed, and then well … you know what happened then" he smirked and I punched at his chest playfully.

I blushed suddenly feeling embarrassed by his hard on that was raging brashly against my thigh. I shifted trying to make it subtle but he noticed and smirked.

"It's morning wood" he explained to my innocence and I continued to stare blankly. "Look having you rub up against me all night, it tends to cause such effects" he shrugged and I wondered how many times we'd co-slept and this has happened without my knowing.

I was about to ask when, but a movement at the end of the bed stirred me. Sitting up a little I can make out Lila buried under a blanket under down the bottom of the bed. A few more seconds of rustling and she was off and shuffling up the bed.

She stopped midway up and looked between me and Jonathan.

"Are you better now" she demanded and I gave her a reassuring nod taking in her bed hair which was like a miniature Afro.

She looked from me to Jonathan again, once more, and then settling finally on Jonathan. Lila ran her eyes over him.

"Monsieur may I, please, jump, on the bed?" She asked her voice rough and I made a note to get her a drink as soon as we got downstairs.

Jonathan smirked at first and I was glad he'd taken Monsieur to be a boost to his ego rather than a colossal insult which could have ended very badly.

"I'd advise you ask Mademoiselle, it if after all her room" he confessed looking to me and I blushed at the term.

I remained silent for a moment before taking them both off-guard by springing up and beginning to bounce with a girlish laughter as I squealed in delight. It took Lila a minuted to catch up with me and she was bounding with a shrieks of joy.

Jon sat up in the bed the sheets falling back to reveal his bare chest and the wounds and marks that were scattered around it.

His eyes followed my body with every jump as I moved freely, for pleasure, unburdened by the weight of life.

I crashed down onto the bed as a plank snapped and the mattress dipped. Jonathan softened my blow snatching out to break the fall and Lila continued to bounce slowly for a minute before coming to a gentle stop.

"Oops" she giggled behind her hand.

Jonathan was shaking his head in disbelief laughter rolling from him unnaturally easily and I rested on my knees taking in the scene around me.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **UnderwaterNymph thank you for following and favouriting the story!**

 **Mikayla elwood thank you very much for favouriting my profile! I hope you might have had chance to look over some of my others stories if they are something that interest you/**

 **I know, she has matured in many ways since thinking Jonathan had died with Valentine. The emotional scars it left had really toughened her up! Go girl! I agree he needs a good ass whooping and I'm sure she will give it to him now with all her sass going on.**

 **They are in France still.**

 **I think she will certainly get wind of it towards the end, but not straight away. Things will certainly progress with her relationship with both Jonathan/Sebastian and Jace as the story moves forwards.**

 **Thank you so much!**


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

I turned up the volume on the docking station singing my heart out to the empty house. I was glad for the relief from the break away from Jonathan and Jace both of who seemed to want to endlessly talk with me.

Not that it didn't end in an argument.

I'd launched a pan after Jonathan as he left for business this morning and he'd called me whore over his shoulder. Jace seemed bemused by it all.

I hummed as the toast grilled in the oven out of tune and bopping about the kitchen which still smelt fresh from the bleach I'd used to clean it. Friday was cleaning day, and I was like a women possessed with the amount of chemicals I put out about the house.

But I could at least relish in my peace.

My feet slid easily against the freshly mopped tiles and I chanted out the lyrics to the pop song swivelling my hips like I'd seen the dancers do on the television. My body moved rhythmically as I felt the pumping base.

I reached across for the bowl which sat on the high counter and tipped out the collection of pills into my palm staring at the colours of them, before lifting them into my mouth and throwing my head back to send them down.

I clutched onto the counter for a moment as my head span at the administration but I steadied myself, shaking off the unpleasant feeling which was overcoming me.

A sound in the dinning room startled me and I shook my head trying to refocus my vision.

"Jonathan?" I called in warning pulling the shirt down, trying to stretch it over my underwear but it did nothing to conceal any dignity.

"Jonathan this isn't funny. You need to go away!" I warned him feeling my skin flush with heat.

When no response came I put it down to a figment of my imagination. Perhaps I'd mixed up the pills. The thought made me yawn and I considered moving to lie down.

I flapped as I smelt the burning and flipped the switch off the oven and pulled the door down to reveal so well toasted bread. I grumbled a complaint as I fumbled with the warm bread jiggling it roughly between my hands until it landed on the counter.

I glared at the bread for a moment considering what to do with it before moving towards the fridge to seek out the jam.

My hand never quite reached the handle as I felt something pawing my hair, the hand was gentle at first, but it soon became rough and I screeched as I felt it slamming me up against the door. My cheek pressed against the cool surface and I stilled my body considering what I'd learnt from Jonathan.

"Jonathan isn't here" I husked my voice low as he restricted my breathing.

"Jace isn't either" he assured and I realised it was a warming. His foot pushed forwards kicking my legs open and I hissed in protest.

"You're a demon" I asserted and he laughed this time but it was screech like and he slammed my head into the fridges surface.

The pain ripped through me, a splitting sensation as I tasted blood in my mouth.

I whimpered as he pulled my hair again jerking my head back and I caught sight of him for a moment. I tried to focus my vision, to see past the disguise to see what Jonathan would see but my eyes ached and I forced them shut as my body was thrown to the floor.

My limbs stretched out and I slid along the tiles, my shirt pulling up as my hands tried to right myself but I slipped in my own blood which was sticky and warm and had me wanting to be sick.

"If you kill me. If you kill me they'll come for you" I warned scrambling to stand as I pulled out the counter leaning against its firmness.

The demon smirked as if it was all just as game.

I slid my hand across the marble work top feeling for something sharp but I drew a blank. I latched my hands around the utensils jar and swung it forwards aiming roughly in the demons direction which gave me enough time to move.

I pushed myself forwards breaking into a run as my blood stained feet pushed against the carpet and I lunged towards staircase. I could hear snarls behind me as I took the steps clutching to the banister rail to steady my spinning head. I feared I'd collapse before I made it to my destination.

I cursed Valentine for having such a long staircase but the landing came into sight and I knew Jonathan's bedroom was only a few strides away.

My legs gave way under me and I slammed into the staircase as a hand latched onto my ankle pulling me back down the steps. The movement winded me and I drew in jagged breaths as he pulled me back halting my ascent. I began to kick. I jerked my legs with another movement to snap the bones but his grip loosened as it allowed me to swing around. I rolled down two more steps before I was able to send my fist into it's face. I screamed at the contact which clearly broke some bones in my fingers.

I moved again. Quicker this time, more desperate to live than I'd been in years. This wasn't like fighting with Jonathan. This was life or death. I reached the summit dragging my body along the floor crawling like a spider, desperate to escape being squashed.

My fingers flexed up and I tugged on the handle of Jonathan's door pulling myself upright and tripping through the frame as the demon seized a clump of my hair. But I was stopping. Adrenaline spurred me on and I howled in pain, an animalistic sound as my hair was torn at the roots and I dived towards Jonathan's bed. I seized up the dagger from the beside cabinet and the demon landed upon it as he smothered my body under his.

It whined and I twisted the blade forcing it deeper into it's body.

But the was almost silent as my mind focused not he heavy footfall on the stairs and the scream of my name. I tried to speak, to call back to him but I couldn't manage the words, my voice was absent as I continued to clutch the hilt of the dagger the demons blood seeping in with my own.

"Millicent" I Jonathan demanded his voice in the corridor now. And I pushed trying to alleviate the pressure of the demon from my body but he was becoming more responsive as was twitching above me, preparing to attack again.

I tried to pull the dagger back out but the weight was to much for me to move. I tried to scream again but the body moved suddenly and I heard the thud as the demon hit the floor.

I slid of the bed and onto the floor crawling forwards as the knife remained fixed in it's chest. But I stopped as I saw Jonathan standing over the demon. His eyes seemed wild as his hand hoovered above it's body a long seraph blade clutched in his hand. I drew a sharp breath and closed my eyes as I saw him plunge it down. The demons sounds were grutal as Jonathan drove the blade in, over and over again until a silence fell and only my breaths filled the room.

"Look at me Millicent" Jonathan demanded but I fell back pushing myself up against the bed until there was nowhere left to move. I screwed my eyes up tighter trying to eradicate the images I'd seen. "Millicent dammit you will look at me!" He threatened and I flinched at the sound of the blade clattering against the floor.

"What the hell was that? What did you think you were doing, how the hell did it get in here! Is this some kind of joke, are you trying to get yourself killed, I know your psychotic but even this is a little much for you. What would have happened if I wouldn't have found you, what would have happened if I hadn't of come home then!" He bellowed his voice full of anger and I drew myself inwards.

"I had it in hand" I lied and he laughed bitterly.

"Do you know what it would have done to you, can you even begin to comprehend what it would have done to something as innocent, as defenceless as you?" He hissed and I winced at the image a shake taking over my body as my mind tormented me with dark twisted images.

"Millie" he pleaded his voice unusually gentle and I opened my eyes to take him in properly. He wore his hunting clothes, shrouded in a darkness with a splattering of demon blood over him. His hair was de-shelved and I wanted to tug my hands through it.

"Jonathan" I husked as the tears pricked my eyes. The dull ache was attacking my limbs and I could feel the blood beginning to crust on my skin.

I reached for him. My good hand darted out and I pulled at his shirt. It didn't take much force to move him as he shifted forwards and I parted my legs allowing him to push his body up against my own. My fingers were freezing but I drew them down against the side of his jaw and over his rough lips groaning at the heat that blew from them.

Then I kissed him.

I pushed upwards and set my lips against his own which seemed to unsettle him because his hand grabbed out to the mattress above us to anchor himself as I pushed my body up against his own. My lips felt to soft against his and I pushed them harder against him trying to get him to react to me.

"Jonathan please" I groaned pulling away from him and pushing against his chest in frustration at his rejection. My pleading seemed to spark something in him and this time when I moved towards him again he met me with a fierce kiss. His jaw clashed against mine and I could taste my blood on his tongue as he moved his lips around.

I snaked a hand up into his hair and my other reached down to his belt loops pulling him closer towards me but the movement was careless and I screamed into his mouth the sound coming out muffled but pained none the less. I pulled my lips away and leaned my head back against the bed.

Jonathan recoiled for a second and I saw concern flash in his eyes for a moment before they returned to a hard stare.

"Well you did beg for it" he shrugged trying to sound distant. "At least we know why your such a bitch, you just need to be laid Millicent, perhaps that would save you needing a personality adjustment" he sliced.

I ignored him glaring down at my pulsing fingers in disgust. I tried to flex them but the movement brought tears to my eyes and I caught my lip between my teeth silencing the scream that wanted to fall from them.

"I wasn't rejecting you Jonathan. You don't have to go back to being a asshole. It's my hand" I snapped grabbing onto the sheets and using them to pull myself up. But I was in free fall again as Jonathan pushed me into the mattress at the bottom of the bed, my blood smearing against the previously clean area of the sheets.

I jerked my hand to strike out at him but he caught it forcing it down against the bedsheets with a snarl.

My eyes were sharp as I glared into the darkness of his with a frustration.

"It came out of nowhere. I don't know how long it was in the house for, but it was here and, and it got me"I whispered hardly able to utter the words which forced the images back to me.

"Tell me. Tell me what it did" he demanded shaking my body slightly his face tense.

"It, it hit me, and it said you weren't here. It knew I was alone" I broke off with a choked sob at the memory and feeling of utter helplessness. "But I got away from it and I knew I had to kill it. I had to hurt it. So I ran, I ran to the stairs and I tried to get to your room but it grabbed me again. We thought and I got into your room, by the time I snatched up your dagger it was on me and I'd stabbed it. Then, then you came" I recalled turning my head away as I spoke to him unwilling to meet his burning glare.

"When Valentine finds out about this …" he broke of and pushed himself from the bedspread. I lay still froze in place as he moved about the room pacing for a second before he set his fist against the wall. I flinched as I watched him, over and over again he punched the same piece of brick work.

"Jonathan, Jonathan stop, please, your going to hurt yourself" I protested my eyes burning with fresh hot tears at his anger.

"I should have been here" he growled. "By the Angel Millicent I should have been here" he seethed and I moved from the bed my limbs unsteady.

"You are my responsibility. Do you understand that? Can you grasp the concept. You are mine to look after!" He insisted and I stumbled a little before I came to stand before him.

"You did look after me" I shrugged toeing at the carpet. "And you here now, that's all that matters" I tried to assure reaching out to him but he turned back away from me.

I looked down at my feet and considered my next move, we were in a game of chess and each step had to be carefully considered.

"Take of your clothes" Jonathan broke the silence keeping his back to me as he moved towards a door which led to his bathroom.

"Excuse me?" I husked looking down at the bloodstained shirt and scant underwear feeling sudden embarrassment roll over me.

"We're covered in blood, your exhausted, and unwell. We need to shower" he insisted the door to the dark tiled bathroom.

I titled my head waiting for him to end the joke, to tell me he was teasing me but he was shrugging of his jacket and stepping out of his shoes. He moved out of my sight and I began to shift forwards as I heard the sound of the water falling from the shower.

My feet carried me forwards while my mind screamed in protest. I'd never been in Jonathan's bathroom before. It was almost entirely black with the furnishing a greyish shade, I'd never seen anything like it before. My feet felt cold against the tiles and every step was numbing.

Jonathan was pulling open cabinets clearly searching for something. I stood numb for a moment as I looked from the basin, to the bathtub, to the mirror which seemed to engulf one wall.

My gaze flicked away from my reflection quickly uneasy with the sight of my bloodstained flesh.

Jonathan turned to face me and I scowled at him for a second trying to keep my gaze of his bare torso which was delightfully toned and every movement seemed to reveal a new muscle. He was lean, and strong, easily able to overpower me if he chose to.

"This isn't a good idea" I remarked looking longingly at the warm water which was beginning to steam up the mirror.

"Do you trust me, Millicent?" He questioned his eyebrows drawing together.

"Yes" I whispered feeling my face flush as he reached for his belt and unbuckled it.

"Then let me look after you" he requested as he touched the hem of the shirt. I swallowed hard as he drew it up and pulled making me involuntary raise my arms for it to be lifted off.

Jonathan eyes widened as he let the shirt drop to the floor and I looked away from his face as he analysed my skin.

He reached for the button of his trousers and I flicked my stare back to him, wide and questioning as he pulled the down taking his boxer shorts down with him which made my breath inhale sharply and my skin burn in embarrassment.

He was smirking, a wide satisfied smirk which made me want to melt into a puddle of flustered hormones.

"You don't have to look if you don't want to, but I think we both know you do" he shrugged turning away from me and stepping towards the shower. He stepped under the hose keeping his back to me as the water ran down his back washing away whatever blood of mine had transferred onto him.

I shifted from foot to foot feelings of uncertainty clouding me. I hadn't been naked in front of anyone since I was just a child, and that was only when my Mother would bathe me with Jonathan. But that had been many, many years ago and a lot of things had changed since then.

My good hand unclasped my bra and before I could rethink it I pulled down my underwear stepping out of them and leaving them pooled on the damp floor. Jonathan turned his eyes meeting mine for a moment and I inhaled deeply. I stepped forwards towards the water, giving him a silent permission to look, and look he did.

The water was almost scolding but I suspected it may just of been how cold I was. Jonathan stepped back allowing me to stand fully under the spray but he kept are bodies close so are skin brushed constantly. The water was pounding in my ears and made me feel heady. I reached up using my hands to rub the blood from my face. I craned my neck back titling my head the so water ran down my chest easing the pain in my ribs.

"Millicent" Jonathan groaned and I felt his hand come to rest against my hips. "You're intoxicating" he decide his hand inching up over my rounded hip and I did nothing to stop him. But his hand faltered just before where I desired it to be and dropped back. I shifted my legs feeling dangerous sensations fluttering about.

"Have you got shampoo, and … body wash?" I questioned trying to sound bolder than I felt. Jonathan was unusually quiet in his response and a quick flash down his body told me exactly what was making him so uncomfortable.

He stood back, leaning against the tiles of the wet room as he watched me wash my hair, but when I reached for the scrunchy he pushed himself of the wall coming to stand back under the water again. His stare was intent as his hand moved to take the scrunchy from me and I nodded my consent squeezing my legs together to try and control myself from just melting there and then.

His hands were warm as they glided the lotion over me, I sighed as his fingers brushed against my chest and leant back into him as he brushed teasingly over my breasts. I felt his desires pushing into my back the further I relaxed into him and soon he'd set the scrunchy aside and had began to massage my breasts, his hands firm, and his fingers nimble as they rolled my nipples.

I bit back my moans, sinking my teeth into my lips as I was lost beneath his touch. Jonathan moved me. Turning me into him his lips replaced his hands and soon my moans were uncontrollable, and I was shifting in his hold trying to resist the urge but before I could hold myself back by body tensed before I realised, the orgasm sharp and fast making me feel light headed and nothing like I'd ever been able to give myself before.

Jonathan sucked on my neck while I sagged against him my eyes half lidded as the water washed away my arousal cleansing me. Jonathan's teeth racked against my neck drawing me back to the present. My legs felt weak from a mixture of exhaustion and desire but the dull ache had lessened in my limbs replaced instead by a burning desire between my legs.

"I put a towel out for you" Jonathan husked in my ears and I stepped forwards and out from under the spray of the water.

I looked back at him over my shoulder for a moment my hair damp and twisting down my back. He had stepped under the stream of water and turned away from me to reveal the angry scars the marred his back, perhaps the only really blemished part of his body. I loved the feel of his skin and the runes that curved around him. The way his hair was flat and smoothed back against his head.

I picked up the towel with my good hand and glanced at the first aid kit which had been placed beside it. I picked both up and moved from the room pulling the door tightly closed behind me before I exhaled a long breath. I gave Jonathan the moment of privacy and squirmed some more just thinking about what he must be doing in there.

The towel was a slate grey and I rubbed myself down with it easing the fabric over my limbs. I could see a purplish brushing overcoming my body stretching out across my ribs and my legs.

I strode towards the walk in wardrobe and moved inside of it clutching the towel around me as I searched through Jonathan's clothes. Jonathan's clothes ranged about fifty shades of dark and I lopped my hand around a back sweatshirt and pulled it over me allowing it falling to a modest length before I set to work. I pulled at the small draw unit rummaging through the range of hair products and lotions before I found a comb that I ran through my hair detangling the knots that had formed.

Years of practice had me moving quickly back through the closet discarding the towel and moving towards the bed. The shower had stopped running but Jonathan hadn't come out yet. I pulled back the bedsheets and bundled it up removing the bloodstains and discarding it into the basket hoping that it could at least strip this room of the horrors that had gone on.

I moved around the bed looking for any further signs of the demon but Jonathan's blade had returned it back onto the beside unit and the place seemed strangely untouched of any demonic activity. But I knew stepping outside the door would reveal the horrors of what would truly happen.

The door to the bathroom opened and I looked over to Jonathan before quickly turning away and covering my face with my hands embarrassed as Jonathan strode unfazed by his own nudity into the closet. He returned soon after sporting his usual dark boxer shorts and looking triumphantly smug.

"Tiered?" Jonathan stated more than asked as he walked past me towards the bed. I nodded and followed after him.

His bed was higher than mine and I pulled myself up onto it and clambering clumsily under the sheets. I jumped a little as I felt his body come to rest beside mine and I realized I was being spooned by Jonathan Morgansten. His body was warm against mine and I pushed back into him dragging his hand to rest over my body. When he held me I felt safe, I felt calm and I felt wanted. I fell asleep to his face nuzzling against my neck as I tried to contemplate just what had happened between us, and what boundaries had been crossed. We had reached a point of no return.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Please leave me your thoughts, have a lovely weekend!**

 **Blue Boxes and Vampire Fangs Thank you for following the story.**

 **everythingdance3 Thank you for following the story.**


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

"You sleep like the dead Millicent" a voice scorned and I scrunched my eyes pushing my face deeper into the pillow. I was not ready to wake yet, in fact staying in bed for the rest of my life felt right.

My eyes were filled with sleep and I had the horrible feeling I'd been drooling in my sleep but worse than that my hair must have resembled a birds nest. I peeled back my lids peeping up at Jonathan and shutting them hastily closed again as I blushed.

I had done naughty things with him and here I was lay in his bed in only a shirt. My mind thought about the clean lines of his body and all his manliness. I squished my thighs together and took a sharp breath sitting up and forcing myself to stare at him.

He was dressed, his clothes dark and made from the defensive hunting material. A knife was holstered through a belt and his hair had been smoothed back.

"I disagree the dead don't get disturbed" I countered with a small smile as my eyes flashed to a herbal tea on the bedside unit. I smiled considering how Jonathan had managed to operate such a Mundane piece of technology.

"I prefer coffee in the morning" I noted reaching for the mug but pausing to clutch my throbbing side.

"It's afternoon" he scoffed looking down at my hand placement.

"Take it off" he demanded and I deadpanned my eyes frozen on him.

"On the Angel Millicent what are you so afraid of. You were more than willing last night when you were squirming around in my hold as I fondled your breasts. Take off the shirt. Now" he commanded his voice growing stern.

I looked down at my toes remembering just what he did to my breasts.

"Don't be such a prude Millicent, take it off!" He repeated his voice becoming tinged with anger as he tapped his foot impatiently.

"I don't require your examination Jonathan. In fact I think it'll be better for us both if the shirt remains on" I affirmed but it seemed to flare up an anger in him and he was crawling across the bed towards me and had me pinned to the mattress in a second.

"I could snap you, break you in two Millicent do you understand that. I could kill you without a seconds thought" he roared his hands clenched around my sore wrists.

"I could break you too Jonathan. I could leave. I could leave you, leave all of this. You may be stronger than me, but I have something you cant get back. I hold a piece of you heart. Now however twisted and dark you think you are, something deep inside of you needs me, desires me, yearns for me. You wouldn't snap me. You wouldn't break me. You wouldn't kill me because Jonathan you, you love me" I whispered my breath hot and unsteady against his cheek as I spoke into his ear.

Jonathan released my hands and moved to my hips pulling me up into him as his lips hit against my own. His tongue forced it's way between my lips as he pulled me tighter against his erection as if trying to assure me of quite how much control I had over him. The moment of force lasted only a minute and he slowed. His tongue flicked against my own, moved to lick against my lips and his mouth moved down my neck to nip against it as his hands gently rubbed my breasts over the material of the t-shirt.

My hands were not absent from there own wonderings. At first I tried to pry the material of the shirt from him but he was unwilling. Instead I felt him through his jeans and he ground into my palm snarling at me between wet kisses. It made me feel brave and I moved my hand up slipping under the waist band of his branded underwear and my fingers brushed at first against his soft pubic hair and then my tips felt the bulge of his erection which filled his pants and was pulsing under my ministrations. He pulled back from me sharply and I flopped back into the bed trying to regain my breaths.

I glared at him trying to convey my hurt at what I'd done wrong. I may have been inexperienced but I knew enough about the male anatomy to know men were supposed to enjoy that.

He leant forwards and brushed him lips against mine in a gentle kiss which he drew out his mouth gentle against my now swollen lips.

"You don't have to try to make me feel better … I get it okay" I muttered ducking my head with a flush and Jonathan scowled in lack of understanding.

"I know you've been with lots of women, lots of experienced women Jonathan. I get it okay, I'm not exactly skilled in this department. I just need some time, to get better, to practice. It's not easy for me, this is all new to me, being a, still being a … a Virgin. It's hard okay!" I protested rubbing my hands across my embarrassed face.

"You are to much for me sometimes Millicent" he uttered leaning his forehead down against my own.

"Feel this, feel what you've done" he encourage moving his eyes to his crotch but I blushed and wouldn't look. "Millicent" he instructed and I moved my eyes down. His trousers were bulging painfully, it couldn't have been comfortable.

I bit down on my lip and he groaned deep in his throat.

"You caused that. That's what you do to me" he growled pulling at my hand so it cupped part of it and he ground into me for a minute his eyes closing and he fisted the sheets humming in pleasure. He pulled back and my hand felt the loss for a moment.

"Do you understand. Even being near you sets me off. When you touch me, I cant control myself. If I let you keep feeling me like that, I'll cum right in my pants" he explained.

"I love you. I love you" he repeated and his hands reached for my shirts hem and with a sigh of defeat I allowed Jonathan to draw it up over my head and let it fall beside us on the bed.

His eyes scanned the wounds with as much curiosity as they did concern. Jonathan wasn't use to not healing without a rune and to heal as a Mundane was a troublesome business. My skin was marred with colourings that were painful to touch as his pads ghosted over them, pressing only occasionally and hesitating whenever I groaned in discomfort.

"If you'd let me try a rune?" He teased and I slapped his hand away as it reached for my breast.

"That's not funny" I squirmed looking at the stele with rested in the waistband of his trousers.

"You know I'd never" he insisted and I looked at him skeptically for a moment.

"Maybe one day" I yawned reaching to sip at the drink he'd brought me.

Jonathan was already looking around the room and I sensed he was trying to make his escape before he got into deep. He'd revealed more than he'd ever intended and it would be all to easy to allow us both to forget the conversation had ever taken place.

"Will you just lie with me. Today. Will you just stay in bed with me, all day, please?" I asked sitting up and reaching for the shirt but his hands pulled it back from me his eyes focused on my breasts as if they were something he needed to write to memory.

"If that's what you want" he shrugged as if it didn't bother him whatever the outcome but I knew otherwise.

"Your not ready for bed" I remarked coyly looking down at his clothed figure and he smirked a devilish smirk as he moved from the bed. He teasingly pulled him shirt over his head and dropped his trousers before crawling back over to me.

I pulled myself onto him, resting my torso against his bare chest loving the feeling of are bare skin connecting. He absently pulled at my braids winding his hands around the dark hair as my head rose with the rise and fall of his toned chest.

Music lulled quietly in the background mixed with are breathing and occasional talk as we lay content for the rest of the day.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **As always please review!**

 **Mikayla Elwood thank you for another lovely review. I am super glad that you enjoyed it and buzzing from your enthusiasm! Thank you it was one of the first pieces I wrote when thinking up this story and such an important scene that I really came to love. No luckily they were not in the house at the time, Millicent was completely alone until Jonathan returns. Hope you loved this one just as much!**

 **ashley.k92 thank you very much for the favourite and the follow on the story!**


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

It was a dark night, it had been raining heavily that evening and I was in a fitful sleep. I fisted the sheets desperately searching for the contact of Jonathan. He seemed to hardly sleep anymore. But he always had some presence in the room.

He had told me it was soothing to watch me sleep. I often woke to him sat upright watching me, or sat in the corner scribbling over some paperwork or a book while in my presence.

But tonight he was not here and his absence weighed uneasily in me.

I rolled over twisting my body in the sheets feeling the sheen of sweat running over my flustered body. I was full of frustration at the moment.

The hours rolled on until I could take it no more and moved from the bed padding down the long set of stairs.

I walked through the house measuring up each empty room and feeling ever more uncertain about his disappearance. Normally he was only gone for brief spells, or if it was ever something more he'd write me.

I reached the bottom layer of the house and was strolling through the kitchen. I pulled on a jacket from the stand and pulled the back door open, hoping some fresh air from the Paris street might aid me. But I whipped my head around the moment I heard two raised voice. My head snapped round with such speed I smacked my nose right into the wooden door frame.

The initial shock forced me back against the wall and I clutched at the pulsing part of my body my head spinning.

The voices softened and I could hear Jonathan calling my name. He was forceful and sharp and suddenly he was in front of me pulling my hands back as I winced away from him touch.

"Why are you still awake?" He demanded unhappily as I tried to brush the slight trickle of blood away from my upper lip that had split with the force.

"You weren't here" I muttered trying to get out of the position of vulnerability he'd backed me into.

"Your hurt" he noted his tongue coming out to lick at the wound and his finger delicately stroked the bridge of my nose. I winced back in pain.

"Let me get you some ice" he decided but I took his hand holding him in front of me.

"Where have you been?" I demanded looking at his slightly disheveled appearance.

"To see my sister" he admitted.

"Jonathan!" I cried aghast stepping back from him but there was no where to move to.

"Jocelyn cut me, I need healing Millicent. Jace needed to see her … she will come around I'm certain of it" he tried to explain but I shook my head vigorously in disgust.

I reached out and slowly traced the cut on his chest with my hands nervously, uncertain of the words he'd spoke. We never discussed his Mother, never.

"I want nothing to do with this Jonathan!" I hissed. "Where's Jace, what happened to him?" I demanded and Jonathan's face tensed and I pushed him from me. I took a short few strides out into the living room where Jace rested on the sofa his face a little more wounded than Jonathan would have let on.

I cried aloud and Jonathan was huffing hot air behind me shadowing my steps.

I went to the kitchen to fetch a wash cloth and moved towards Jace when Jonathan caught my arm holding me with piercing questioning black eyes.

"Would you rather I heal him with a rune?" I suggested and he recoiled like I slapped him. The affect of it was as I had expected. For me, learning to draw runes was intimate. A sign of love, of care, of dedication to someone.

He left quickly then, with every ounce of egotistic energy he had left, pushing over the vase stand, throwing his weapon two the wall and discarding the clothes all the way up the staircase which made me blush a embarrassing shade of red in front of Jace who sniggered at his friends antics.

I moved towards Jace slowly carefully watching for Jonathan reappearance but there was none, so I slowly sat down beside him on the sofa and took his face in my hand tilting it to get a better look.

"Mundane's. People like you, they shouldn't be able to draw runes, to use a Steele" Jace stated not wincing as I washed the blood away from his face. "You can't receive them can you?" He asked his curiosity not ending there.

"Valentine wanted to keep me human. He liked the Mundane aspect of me. He wanted us to be … together. I think. At least that was his initial plan. You were raised to be purer than Jonathan. That's why he sent me to spend time with you. But it's not what either of us desired.

I was to innocent for him to ever promise me to Jonathan. But I was raised with Jonathan, he was my childhood friend. He may have tried to hate me, get rid off me even but I grew on him. Jonathan looked after me while we grew up together, he became my protector. He taught me things. Things I shouldn't be able to do. He used dark magic. Did things I can't understand. But slowly, I learnt to use a Steele under his guidance. He seemed to think I could be healed by one, but I'd never let him near me with it. That would be to much of a risk, not one even he is fully willing to take.

When we got older, Jonathan became more jealous of me being sent away, and are feelings towards one another grew … stronger. You must really miss Clarissa. I missed Jonathan, when we were separated, when I thought he'd died. I felt this hole in my life, this absence in my heart" I explained absently touching the place where he would forever remain.

"You should get your nose checked out, it could be broken" Jace suggested taking the cloth from my hand and holding it in place.

* * *

 _It was the dead of the night and out here we didn't really hear much. Not unless it was wildlife, or a storm. But I could hear Jonathan's screams. They were agonising making me whimper beneath my bedsheets and I cried my tears streaming down my face._

 _I had caused this. I knew that much._

 _I was due to go to the Manor in a couple of days and Jonathan had set fire to my suitcase, tore up his Father's paperwork and even cursed him for sending me away again._

 _The night was cool and I shivered harder with every whimper._

 _I counted the minutes away slowly until Valentine had finished striking him. I froze as I heard the sound of voices. I heard Valentine leaving the house, slamming the door firmly behind him and I knew he'd be gone for days and that perhaps my visit to the Manor would be postponed until Jonathan was fully healed._

 _I lay still desperately waiting to hear the sounds of Jonathan moving around downstairs, of some sign that he was able to move._

 _He was very quiet in his approach but I heard him fall against the bedroom door and I bolted upright pulling the sheets from my tear stained face and pulling myself out of my cocoon like state to go and see him._

 _I tripped and fell still tangled in the sheets but as I opened the door he stumbled into my embrace and I was kissing him everywhere. He was weak but I was pulling him down onto me, forcing my body up to meet his as we stumbled towards my bed. I kissed him and with every breath I took I muttered soothing dotting words, of love and admiration. He was shirtless and I could feel the fresh welts under my skin, oozing and sore as I stroked the waist of his trousers reaching for his Steele._

 _With a slow, drawn out kiss I closed my eyes, my lips against his as I drew the rune for healing. We lay there for a while. The pleasant weight of him crushing against my smaller, younger body and I pulled his head to my chest and stroked his hair. When I moved it was to get the ointments, and bandages for his back._

* * *

Jonathan was naked under his bedsheets I could tell from the way he lay on his front and they were kicked back enough to reveal a bum cheek which made me flush.

"I need you to look at my nose. I need you to check to make sure it's not broken" I announced into the silence of the room holding my breath as I awaited a reply. He groaned a little stretching out before swinging his toned legs from the bed and walking towards me still unclothed, unbothered by his own nudity.

My skin was turning pinker by the second and the delicious smirk that smeared over his face told me he knew exactly what I was doing to him. "I told you, you should have put something on it" he snapped fingering the dark bruise that had spread to under one of my eyes. I held still unable to move as I tried to concentrate my stare on his face and not down the length of him body.

"Jace was hurt …" I began but he cut in.

"That's your problem Millicent, your so concerned about everyone else. You forget about yourself" he explained dipping his head down to place the most tender of kisses against the bridge of my nose.

"You've not broken it" he assured and with a lazy hand pull he led me back to bed with him. I kept my clothes on, and spent the night tracing the scars of his back remembering just how often we'd been through a process of trying to heal them.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hope you enjoyed the update!**

 **promisesoffuture Thank you for the story favourite!**

 **Thank you ever so much Unicorns268 for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter.**

 **Lilyaudrey123 Thank you for following the story.**


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENY THREE**

I didn't bother knocking on the door and instead pushed it straight open which made Jonathan mutter a string of curses at me in his temper. I sniggered until I stumbled over a hardback which had been left open on the floor and fell into the bookcase just righting myself in time to prevent a fall.

"Millicent!" Jonathan huffed in frustration and I grinned trying to contain my own laughter.

Jonathan's face remained firm and full of sternness and I blushed with the book tucked under my arm.

I moved easily in the elasticated yoga pants as I crouched down and slid out onto the Persian rug that ran the length of the vast library and nestled myself into the must smelling fabric. Jonathan was watching me, staring at me with a fascination as I pulled open the dog-eared page I was currently on and tried to lose myself devoid of his attentions.

We functioned like this for some time. Jonathan occasionally muttered something, rustled a paper or split some ink, and I turned a page every minute or so breezing through the book with a easy speed.

The book was a first edition and Valentines hand had scribed a personal note to me at the front.

My beloved Millicent,

You are the sunshine to my darkness.

Valentine.

I had cried over the passage many times since he'd died. I cried over a lot of things that reminded me off him. I couldn't work out how Jonathan felt. Relieved, uncertain, disjointed? Either way I don't think Jonathan ever grieved for his Father, not like I did.

I loved Valentine like a Father, and tried to separate him for all his faults. I would fumble over letters he'd written to me, old Birthday Cards, hand written instructions and poems he'd found.

"Millie?" Jonathan intercepted me mid page and I jab at the word I was on before straining to look back at him from where he sat in the desk chair. "When you look at me what do you see?" He husked his voice nervous, a mannerism which was unusual on him and one I supposed I'd only seen before. It was not something he showed to the outside word.

I chewed the side of my mouth for a moment considering what I really saw when I looked at Jonathan.

"I see … a far to handsome man to start with. I see this most alluring hair that I could just spend my entire day combing through, I see this pale marked skin that is so, so beautiful, it entrances me, it shows so much pain and it only draws me closer. I see this deep, dark eyes that I could just lose myself in, they look into my soul and pull me down like a gravity towards you. I see a fighter, someone whose strong and in control" I admitted sitting up so the book fell shut and I was looking at Jonathan through a slight veil of my deshelved hair.

"You don't see a demon, a monster?" He demanded gripping the arms of the chair so hard I thought he might break the arms of the wooden structure straight off.

"Maybe people see a demon, a monster. But I just see Jonathan. My Jonathan. I see a man who protects me, makes me laugh, makes me angry, hot-headed, flustered. A man who makes me feel strong and empowered and loved" I corrected wanting to reach out and stroke him.

"Do you think I understand human emotions?" He furthered keeping his eyes set dead-ahead.

"What's brought this on?" I asked but he shook his head and he sighed.

"Come here" I asked gently and he did walking slowly towards me and I squirmed a little under his height. "Touch me" I added and he looked at me questioningly but I nodded encouragingly taking his hands and placing them on my hips. His hands were large and calloused from fighting.

I gasped as his hands took control and ran the length of my thighs as he sunk to his knees grazing his hands around to my back and grabbing the flesh of my arse cheeks squeezing them between his palms and his lips ghosted over my knicker line and curved around to the inside of my leg and I cried out harder this time my hands coming to knot into his hair as his breath ghosted over the material.

"Jonathan" I groaned pulling his head from me and he sniggered a little smirking my favourite smirk, full of self-satisfaction and desire. He kissed his way up to my stomach pushing up my shirt and nibbling at the creamy flesh there until I pushed his head back feeling a little giddy.

"See" I gasped trying to restore my breaths to a calmer pace. "If you didn't … if you didn't understand human emotions you wouldn't be able to do that. You wouldn't be able to do that … make me feel that. It's not learnt Jonathan. You connected with me, you responded to my sounds, my cues.

You understand my emotions. You understood I desired you, that I wanted you. You know how to make me angry, how to make me jealous, how to hurt me, how to make me flirtatious, or brash or happy. You can do all of those things Jonathan because a part of you, however small that may be is human!"I insisted slowly moving down onto my own knees and taking ahold of his face to focus his eyes on me.

"I am yours and you are mine. I love you for who you are. For a man who went through what you have, a man whose blood is burning him from the inside …" I whispered tracing a vein in his forearm. "For you, despite all that, to be capable of loving me, that Jonathan will always be enough for me" I promised slowly pressing my lips to his.

* * *

 **CloeClaire Thank you for favourting the story!**

 **Allybelle01 Thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story!**


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR**

Jonathan came and went with a irregularity and it wasn't often that I spent my time in his room alone. We still hadn't crossed the full boundary of intimacy and I was itching to shed my virginity like it was a bad omen. But Jonathan seemed to be avoiding the subject.

I'd asked Jace about it, over breakfast which he'd choked on at my crudeness. Apparently Jace was only willing to remind me that Jonathan took what he wanted, with a force. But when it came to me it was different.

I felt uneasy around Jace still, I was concisely aware of something between him and Jonathan that was not right. That perhaps Jace's presence here was entirely given willingly. But I had yet to have the opportunity to call Jonathan out on it.

The water was hot in the bath, pipping to be frank but I revealed in the heat as I submerged myself fully into the warming water.

I was growing uneasy. I slept in his bed, inhaled the scent of him and longed for him as I got myself off to terrible, naughty images of him.

My thought pool was interrupted when Jonathan opened the door and took the moment to appraise my naked body. I blushed a little still uncertain of what to make of his affection towards me. But his stare was intent and his gaze ran the length of my body.

"Yes?" I quipped with some sass and his gaze stole dark for a moment.

Before I could banish him out with words of protest he was kicking off his shoes and striding towards the bath. I sunk deeper as he shed the armour and set down countless weapons, until he stepped into the bath tub causing the water to cascade out onto the floor.

His lips ghosted over mine at first and he inhaled my soaped skin.

"Get dressed. I'm taking you out" he revealed with a thick smirk suddenly letting go off me and stepping out of the tub. As he left the bathroom he deposited his clothes with him, drenched from his momentary plunge in the bath. I squealed in delight at the sight of his delicious bum being revealed just before he left out of sight leaving my bathroom door wide open.

I squirmed some more at the thought of him naked and moving over me.

I was doused in cold water as Jace appeared in the doorway and I screeched like a banshee. Kicking up water as I tried to cover my dignity.

"What the hell!" I gushed looking at his amused expression.

"You left the door open. I heard you squealing I thought you were upset" he shrugged keeping his eyes fixed onto my face. "I realise I was mistaken" he laughed and he stepped back over Jonathan's discarded clothes and I launched a container at his head but it was badly aimed and easily missed him.

I disembarked from my bath shortly after and pulled of a robe to protect what little modesty I now had left. I was clearly living with animals.

Sitting at the dresser I dried my hair quickly letting it fall naturally into place. I applied a healthy coating of makeup to try and draw out my pale skin and took out a matching set of underwear that were the same shocking red as the dress I was about to put on.

I had never been a seductress, but I thought I could at least try my hand at it this once. I found the dress strode away in the dark depths of a draw still with the price tag on. I'd never worn it. It was red, vibrantly show, it fitted like a second skin, drew in my waist and forced out my breasts and laced up at the back.

I had to wear that dress.

* * *

We were in a Downworlder Bar. I could establish that much.

Jonathan had bundled me into the back of a taxi with him and even produced Mundane currency for the driver. We'd driven for nearly an hour, and it was a ten minute walk in inappropriate footwear before we found an entrance through a dingey doorway.

Jonathan was taking my cloak and his eyes shifted uncontroably from my body to are fellow diners. The bartender, with red spiked hair, and stunning black eyes looked over me approvingly and winked which made Jonathan snarl.

"What are you wearing Millicent" Jonathan hissed, not meeting my eye. He was to busy trying to stare down any male, or female that took an interest in my shocking red dress.

"My new dress" I husked feeling goosebumps from his hand sliding around my back possesivley.

"I'd hardly call it a dress" he growled his hand skimming down to brush my arse.

"Buy me a drink" I whispered turning into his neck and blowing hot air behind his ear. "Jonathan" I added with a soft kiss on his lips.

Jonathan started towards the bar of the dimly lit space, pulling me along with my stiletoes clinking all the way.

I remained quite as we were served using the time it took to pour over the Downworlder bar which was like something from a movie scene. People were acknowledging Jonathan and I felt envy rise up within me at the sight of a few of his previous conquests trying to meet his eye.

A petite woman with skin bronzed and strong limbs strode towards us, her body encased in a black jumpsuit and with hair that seemed to fall into endless trundles down her back and around the swell of her breasts. Jonathan tensed at her approach as she fawned over him.

I stepped back self-consciously as the older woman tried to engage him in her topic. She husked about where he'd been, all I could focus on where her shocking purple lips moving with each word. She was not a Shadowhunter, but that certianly didn't mean she was Mundane.

Someone brushed my arm and I span whipping my head around.

"Yes" I whispered my eyes wild like an animal as I scanned over the tall figure that was broader than jonathan and thick haired with a rugged beard.

"So, your Millicent" he smirked looking me up and down in a way that left me under no uncertainty as to what he was thinking.

"What's it to you" I sassed feeling Jonathan was now long since forgotten.

"I work with Jonathan" the man shurgged looking over my shoulder to the woman that was surely entwined with him.

"Buy me a drink" I stated and the man cocked an eyebrow. He wasn't my type, not really attractive but he was as good as I had. And if he knew Jonathan, I assumed I could losley trust him.

"Your like he said" he chuckled, with his hand out to grab the bartenders attention. I didn't respond, simply bit on my lip and moved up onto the barstool.

Soon I had a hand in my drink and the man was sat beside me, keeping me at a comfortable distance.

"He's watching you" he assured and I tried not to look smug.

I knocked back the foul tasting liquid and turned towards the stranger.

"He brought me out here, for a date" I laughed. "Great date huh?" I smiled bitterly.

"Jonathan can't escape his past, or his future" he shrugged as if that sentence was supposed to be simple.

"I'm going to go. Thanks for the drink …" I ended softly looking up questioningly for his name.

"You don't need to thank me Millicent" he nodded and turned to escort me from the building. It was rapidly busying and the firm arm on my elbow led me safely out of the space without any ruckus.

"I will let Jonathan know you've left" he assured.

"Don't bother!" I snarled. "He can go and stuff it" I cried bitterly, feeling the anger rising up within me like a fever.

"Jonathan, I mean, Sebastian…" the man corrected himself quickly. "…Does love you Millicent, I'm quite sure" he finalised with a nod and walked away back into the bar.

I wanted to march back in there and tell Jonathan to go and screw himself.

I wanted to hail a taxi and go back to bed.

I wanted to pull this stupid dress of and burn it.

Then I wanted to burn him.

Then I wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and have him tell me he was mine only, ever mine.

Night was falling rapaidly and I held firmly onto the coat as a layer of protection. With no money and a lack of direction I was wondering somewhat aimlessly through the backstreets. If luck was on my side I had mused that Jace would be about and find me.

Surely Jonathan would have sent him on my trail, or perhaps he'd even worked out for himself things would not end well between us.

I was walking with an angry stomp and my breath was hot and my face flushed. Women like me were considered vulnerable, us Mundanes. Jonathan had reminded me often of my own fragility. I was a target walking with a bullseye on my back.

Keeping my head ducked I walked on, realising I was going to be forced to get myself out of this mess.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been!" Cried Jonathan his face torn with anger as he stormed towards me at such a speed all I could do was back myelf up toward the door I had just entered from.

"Walking home" I hissed daring to meet his black eyes.

"You left the bar" he accused his hands coming up to pin the side of face, drawing me into his heat.

"Well you weren't exactly good company" I seethed.

"You were jealous" he smirked.

"Of course I was jealous!" I seethed. "Mission accomplished Jonathan. You embarrassed me. Humiliated me. What do you want now? Just leave me alone" I sighed pushing at his arm but he remained stubbornly in place.

"Why were you jealous Millicent" he husked his eyes fighting to keep my attention before I looked away.

"Because … because" I broke off with a headshake. "We arent having this conversation" I muttered pushing at his chest half-heartedly.

"We are" he rebuked.

"We arent" I inisted sinking down the wood panelling and to a curled up ball on the expensive carpet.

"My plan was to get you drunk. Really drunk, to see you let yourself go. And then I was going to take you back here and just lie with you, all night. Talking utter crap until you fell-asleep, and I would just lie by your side and listen to you breathing. Watch you. Your glorious Millicent, you underestimate my obsession with you. I am addicted to you Millicent, you complete me" he announced.

"Well that's just dandy" I laughed. "But you didn't. You were to busy getting your next fix of arse Jonathan to give a dam about me" I sliced through him standing up to my full height and drawing closer towards him.

"But that's fine" I snarked. "Because me, and my little red dress arent going to be giving you anything. You can just keep on dreaming, and screwing girls you can pretend are me. We are over" I inisisted.

"You can't live with out me Millicent!" He roared grasping me firmly.

"No Jonathan, you can't live with out me" I corrected shoving at him with all the force I could muster so he dropped his hold on me.

I kept my head high as I walked towards the staircase my blood pumping around with a delicious rush.

"Millicent" he called and I paused mid-step to look back at him, at his pitiless eyes, so empty.

I like to think he moved towards me, but I fear I could have thrown myself at him. Either way we were locked in a embrace and I was kissing him relentlessly.

The dress was tearing.

He was carrying me up the stairwell, and when he lay me softly onto his mattress I knew what I wanted to come next.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I've been slacking a bit with this story admitedly, and have been experiencing some writers block! But alas I am trying to push forwards. Hope you enjoyed the update.**

 **AnUnexpectedAdventure thanks for supporting the story!**


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